Oh. All right. That was good. “What if I don’t know what I want?”
“That’s fine too.”
“Then I don’t know what I want.”
“You can drop your arms. Do you not know what you want, or do you know what you want and don’t want to say it?”
I rolled my shoulders, loosening them, and not looking at him. Wild anxiety and discomfort hovered in my chest. That feeling of being out of place and not knowing what was right or what to do which had followed me my entire life.
Would there be times when I knew what I needed? Sure. Yes. Probably. But all I felt right now was overwhelm, and I didn’t have the right words. “I just…” I dropped my head. “I just don’t want to think about anything.”
Theo tilted my face up so I was looking at him. I wanted to let my gaze slide away, but I didn’t. His thumb brushed my lower lip in a move that hadno rightto be as hot as it was.
He searched my face for a while. No judgment. And up close he was so fucking beautiful. That thumb moved back and forth slowly, my entire world hinging on that movement.
“You want to be used?”
My entire body wenthotwith embarrassment, but I had to tell the truth. “Yes.”
The hand cradling my jaw moved to my throat and pulled me in for another kiss. “Take first position next to the bed.”
Nothing sounded better right now than obeying his instructions. I heard the rustle of fabric nearby. The clink of a belt buckle. Soft footsteps on the carpet. This time, he wasn’t clothed. Every inch of his lean physique on display, along with his pierced cock. Different from Bastian’s, his piercing was at the tip.
Theo cupped a hand under my chin and lifted my face. “Still good?”
Frustration burst through me, and before I could answer, an amused smile crossed his face. “You just want to be told what to do and do it.”
I nodded eagerly. Yes. One thing where I didn’t have to think or decide or care. Or be checked in with. Order me. Make me yours.
He pressed the tip of his cock and that piercing against my lips. “Open.”
The way he slid across my tongue and deeper had me closing my eyes. He tasted like soap and also likehim. Pure, sweet almonds. Like having cookies at Christmas. I closed my mouth over him and sucked him deeper.
“Fuck me,” Theo said, hips bucking forward. This wasn’t in my repertoire of sexual things I was good at, but I would take it. He hadn’t told me to do anything but open, so I didn’t do anything more than suck on what I could reach and bask in the glow.
“I was going to teach you exactly how I like it, but I don’t know if I can last that long the first time.” He leaned down and pulled me off his cock, kissing me hard and deep without hesitation. “Fuck, you’re beautiful. Keep your throat open.”
Theo’s cock was thinner than the others, but he was also longer. Hisfingers disappeared into my hair, pulling me onto his cock slowly. I couldn’t take all of him. My throat rebelled, causing me to gag. He backed off, still fucking my mouth.
“Try again,” he said. “You can do it.”
I wasn’t sure, but I wanted to be. My throat was open as far as I could make it. He thrust again, using his grip on my hair to find the right angle and slip the tip of his cock into my throat. “There it is,” he held me still, moving his hips in slow, rolling pulses. “Your throat feels so good.”
I still gagged, having to catch my breath. “Sorry.”
“What for?”
“Gagging.”
He fisted my hair more firmly and made me look at him. The angle, straight upward, seeing every muscle, cock dripping from fucking my throat, was so hot I lost what little breath I had. “Don’t apologize for that, I fucking love it.”
“Really?”
“Every time you do, you’re choosing to surrender to something that’s physically uncomfortable because I want you to do it. You’re overriding what your body wants because I’m commanding you differently. If that’s not submission, I’m not sure what is.” Then he grinned, filling my mouth again so I couldn’t respond. “It also squeezes my cock so hard I see stars. That doesn’t mean we won’t train you to make all our cocks disappear like a magic trick without any effort at all, but don’t ever apologize for choking on my cock.”
Perfume swirled around us, and I grew wetter. Needier. I didn’t have a doubt in my mind that they would be able to make me come without fucking me if words made me feel likethis.
Theo took me again. I didn’t fight when I gagged this time—I let it happen. Because I knew he didn’t care. And every time he praised me. He told me how good it felt and how much he liked watching me.
