He came over and took it from me before I could get off the floor. “Need help up?”
“You know, while I’m down here, I might see if I can figure it out.”
Laughing, he rapped his knuckles on my desk. “Let me know if you find anything interesting.”
Then he was gone. Another good thing about Edgar. He didn’t linger, unlike some of my coworkers. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted the fallen papers and grabbed them.
I was irrationally angry at a stack of paper that had done nothing more than fall victim tome, but I still wanted to tear them up and stomp on them. Maybe scream at the top of my lungs while I did it.
Which was… a lot.
I felt uncomfy in my own skin, like the room was too small, and wanted to curl up and do absolutely nothing. Instead, I turned back to the drawer and tried to pull it fully out.
Nothing.
I tried again, and it still didn’t budge, but it didn’t feel like it was stuck so it couldn’t move. It felt like it was… blocked.
Planting my feet against the base of the cabinet, I pulled with everything I had. Suddenrageflew up underneath my skin and I screamed, unleashing all that anger into trying to pull thisfucking draweropen.
My fingers slipped off the handle and I fell backward, heaving breath. I kicked the cabinet once, and then again cause it felt fuckinggood.
What was wrong with me? I didn’t understand why I was so out of sorts. I didn’t feelnormal. Earlier I’d noticed the feeling, but it had only gotten worse as the day wore on. Heaviness that clung to me like a cloud.
I’d eaten, so I wasn’t hangry. I’d slept like a fucking cat in a sunbeam after last night. My sugars were fine. I’d checked them earlier. So why?—
Logan’s soft, warm voice rose out of my memory.
When you use up so many of the good brain chemicals, you can run out. And in the time it takes for your body to build them back up, it can feel shitty. Not always, but it can. When it does, we call it drop.
I wasn’t sure if this was what it felt like, but it made the most sense. At least I could wrap my head aroundwhy.
Funny how having the words to explain something immediately made it more manageable. I still felt crappy, but I knew why, and that took away the sting of feeling so unsettled.
Instead of kicking the cabinet again, I started taking the files out of the drawer. I’d never cleared it out because they were old notes from Tracy on completed stories. I’d had to hit the ground running so quickly that I’d only focused on her open stories. Nothing else.
And…there.
At the back of the drawer there was a thick folder that was wedged at an odd angle and preventing the drawer from being pulled out completely. It was still a bit stuck, but it came free after I wrestled with it.
I pulled the handle, watching it roll all the way open with a smoothness that taunted me. “Bitch.”
Now it worked perfectly, even with all the folders back inside. Go fucking figure.
What the hell had been causing the problem all these months?
The title on the folder didn’t jog my memory. Reef Cars. Was it from before I worked here?
I opened the folder and started reading. My eyebrows rose higher and higher.
Good thing I was mostly done with my email to Amber. This folder was coming with me to the pool. Because this lookedinteresting.
The sun felt good on my skin. I’d been so busy the last few months that I was probably suffering from a chronic vitamin D deficiency.
Well… two types of vitamin D deficiency. And after last night, I wasveryaware of the second kind. At least the reading was interesting. Because the folder I found wasn’t a finished piece. It was notes for something Tracy had been working on when she died, and I was focused on her notes like they were my new lifeline.
Tracy was a decent boss, but she was an even better reporter. I wasn’t really sure what she was doing at a magazine like ours. The notes in front of me read more like a piece that would run in a national paper and be covered by every other media outlet the next day.
Environmental corruption. Shit being dumped in the ocean that should never be there. Lies on lies on lies by the companies doing it, including some that had testified under oath that their practices were above board and complied with all environmental laws.
