Isolde took a turn looking at the little locks. “Pretty charms. Where’d you get them?”
“Aiden ordered them.”
Ocean laughed. “Really? Can I see it?”
“Sure.” I held out my hand.
Her face moved through confusion into shock and then understanding. “Are these real locks?”
I swallowed. “Yeah. They are.”
“Wait.” Isolde set her drink down. “Like you can’t take them off?”
“They come off. I just don’t have the keys. They do.” My cheeks went hot. “We all wanted something symbolic, but I didn’t want something as obvious as a choker. Unless you know me really well, I doubt people will notice these.”
“Absolutely not,” Ocean said. “They’re tiny. Most people will think what we thought, that they’re charms.”
Looking back and forth between them, there wasn’t anything different in their behavior. “You guys aren’t weirded out?”
Isolde slurped some noodles and held up a finger, finishing her bite. “Why would we be weirded out? Girl, you’ve been to Element. You know what’s out there, and it’swaybeyond being consensually locked into some bracelets.”
“I think there are people who would be weirded out,” Ocean said. “Because they don’t understand it. If you’re healthy, safe, and if it makes you happy, then it’s no one else’s business. But no, it doesn’t weird me out.”
I shook my head and took a bite of my ramen. “Sometimes it feels like I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop. Not with them, but with other people. Like I’m constantly on guard against reactions from everyone around me. I hate it. I know why though.”
It was time to tell them everything. I should have told them a long time ago. If I had, maybe things would have been different. I couldn’t focus on that regret.
“I have some stuff to tell you.”
My friends shared a look, and Isolde stretched her hand across the table to grab mine. “It’s about time. Spill.”
I did. A shorter version of what I told my Alphas. But enough for them to be horrified. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. There wasn’t anything you did to make me feel like I couldn’t. It was all them. So please don’t feel like you could have done anything differently.”
Ocean dabbed her eyes with her napkin. “Please tell me you plan on confronting that bitch. And your dad. Even with the guys knowing you can’t just accept this for the rest of your life.”
“I honestly haven’t even thought about it yet. Yeah, I imagine I’ll tell Dad at some point. First, I want to get the whole ‘hey, I’m the scent match to the son of the woman you’re marrying,’ thing out of the way first.”
Isolde nodded. “I get that. But don’t wait too long. After he’s married to Liz and they’re all settled into life with the rest of his pack, it will feel that much harder.”
“Yeah.” She wasn’t wrong. “I just have to figure out how. It’s not easy because… I’m mad at him too. For leaving me all the time. For being late or forgetting to do things. For notnoticing. What they did isn’t his fault. At all. But we have more to talk about than that.”
The comfortable sounds of the restaurant filled the silence.
“I’m proud of you,” Ocean finally said. “It’s not easy facing your own abuse. It’s hard, and it hurts.”
My friend had suffered her own share of abuse at the hands of her aunt and uncle, who’d been her guardians for most of her life. Thanks to her Alphas, she’d managed to find more peace with her trauma, though I knew she still struggled.
“It’s definitely not comfortable.”
“It never is.” Isolde’s smile was tight. She’d dealt with shit too.
I looked back and forth between the two of them. “We’re pretty fucked up, huh?”
All three of us burst into laughter, dissolving the feeling of sadness in the air.
“At least we’re getting fucked well while we’re fucked up.” Isolde lifted her glass, making a toast which Ocean and I answered.
Considering I could stillfeelAiden on me, there was no way to disagree.
