I’m in a large bedroom with a Jack and Jill bathroom that connects to a second bedroom on the other side of it. The furniture is antique, to where you can tell it’s been around for a very long while, yet there’s not a speck of dust. I draw open the heavy, red velvet drapes to see the grounds now coated in a small blanket of snow. I unlatch the window and it opens easily outward. I let out a breath. Okay. At least I havethatgoing for me. But other than Raven and Miss Patricia, I have not seen a single other person whatsoever, not even the staff. I’ve never felt so uneasy.
There’s a knock on my door and I close the window quickly, putting my hand to my pendant and turning my torso slightly as though all I've been doing is gazing outside. “Come in!”
A stout woman with lots of grays in her dark hair comes in. “Hello, Miss. I’m Nelly. I’ve just brought fresh linens, an extra duvet, and towels, just in case you need them later and we’re gone.”
I grin and go to her, taking them from her. “Thank you, Miss Nelly.”
“It’s going to be a cold one. Would you like me to get the fireplace going?”
I arch a brow and look over at the only thing in this room that seems to have been modernized. “Is it also gas powered?”
She grins. “Yes, ma’am.”
Fuck, I wish I had my laptop so I could do a bit of research. “I think I’m fine for now on the fire, seeing as Kane wanted to show me the sunroom. But could you teach me how to power it on for later?”
“Of course.”
I put the linens down and watch intently. It’s like the one I have in Brooklyn Heights, but mine’s electric. “Are they all like this? In case we end up…” I hike a brow suggestively “in a different room.”
The tops of her cheeks tint pink. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Thank you, Miss Nelly. I appreciate the information.”
She does a little curtsey and leaves the room.
Acurtsey.
My mind goes back to the day I was sitting beside Maksim at breakfast andPoppywas all over him, but her large, wobbly tits were on my husband. Envy surges through me. Poppy could learn a thing or two from Miss Nelly, but I’m pretty sure the only kind of bowing Poppy knows how to do isoversomething.
I roll my eyes at myself. Christ, I’m getting angry over a memory.
I take a deep breath and sit on the edge of the enormous bed, letting my fists shake in my lap. I can feel the hives wanting to break along my skin, like tiny little heated scratches. I breathe in as deeply as I can, pushing down all of my turmoil.I am fine. I have taken in as much valuable information as I can so far. I’m here for Maksim. I’m here to find my husband.
So then why do I feel so fucking hopeless? I flop back and stare up at the designs on the ceiling only to grab a pillow, turn over, and scream into it. There has been no fucking movement. I feel like I’m losing it.Be here until further notice?I’d rather die. Oh my God, I’m fucking spiraling. I’m talking to myself!
I inhale as deep as I can, letting it out as slowly as I can.
Don’t break, don't break, don't break. I’m not allowed to break.Breathe, Sabrina. What would Raven do?
Sleuth.
I get off the bed and head to the bathroom, splashing cool water on my face. I hang my head back, letting the water drip down to my chest, then face forward to look at the ghost of my former self staring back with haunted eyes.
Don’t break, don't break, don't. Break.
I have more than half a mind to wind my arm back and break the mirror, just to feel every shard of glass penetrate my skin so I feel something other than…this—
Hopeless.
Nightfall comes just an hour after we’ve had our dinner of a very hearty soup that helps settle me. The conversation between Kane and I flows a little easily. He hasn’t pushed; he only seems to be watching my every move, as though he’s trying to make sure I’m really happy and not simply acting. He’s trying to dissect me. His touches are small but deliberate throughout, testing me.
The fire crackles to my left as I watch from the window in the library as the maids take off in their own vehicles for the evening. Kane puts on a record and low music plays in the background, and I recognize Dahlia Collins’ voice immediately. I look up at him from where I’m sitting sideways on the settee, ‘reading’ a book. We’re alone now, save Raven, who I haven’t seen since this morning. Kane holds his hand out to me with a boyish, charming smile on his face.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
“Care to dance with me? I know how much you used to adore Dahlia.”
I do the polite thing and set my book down and take his hand. He hauls me to him, chest against chest since he’s only a few inches taller than me. Nothing like Maksim or Parker. I put my hand on his shoulder as he embraces me, one warm hand going to the small of my back. I wish I could say he doesn’t smell good. He does. He just smellswrong. And he’s the wrong height. The wrong voice. And—
