"We both know she is. Parentage changes zilch. So, drop your fucking bullshit."
I glare at him, a snarl on my lips. "What fucking bullshit?"
"This fucking bullshit. Come on, bro. You're better than this shit."
"And what should I have done, genius?"
"You could have told Lyndall what you knew, what you suspected, and then Lola. Or, fuck, I don't know? Acted like the adult you apparently are and discussed what to do with Lola. Instead, you what?"
"Oh, I bet you're going to tell me."
"Damn fucking straight. Because instead of doing what you should do and being honest, you decided to sabotage more of your life."
I drag air into my suddenly starved and tight lungs. "I didn't attempt sabotage on purpose, asswipe. I didn't talk about it to Lola because, why should I? If I was wrong, then I'd upset her needlessly. And don't you think Lyndall deserved to know first? Shit. Fuck."
He stares at me like I've grown another head. "Frankly, I'm missing the days of your insane sexcapades."
"Fuck you, Cade."
He shakes his head. "Need a reminder? The blonde who was married, and you say lied, or the threesome that went wrong when the boyfriend of one of the chicks you were banging came home early and found you butt naked and balls deep in his girl while you tongued his sister's cunt? Or maybe the redhead you had no idea was engaged. I could go on. But I won't."
Well, thank fuck he's not making me reliveallmy sexual past.
I give him a shove. "What's the point, Cade?"
He shoves me back. "My point is those stories had entertainment value. This? Not so much. I love Lyndall like she'smy own family. She is, in a way, like you are. And Lola's pretty fucking cool, too. But man, oh man, have you inexplicably decided to make things hard."
"This is different." I dust down my hoodie, my chest tight.
"You've been lying to Lola. To Lyndall. Shit, you suddenly decided it's cool to omit truths. Jesus, Enz. Didn't I warn you?"
He did, but I still stand by not having said anything until I had proof. Problem here is that when I got it, Dad had to go and break the news first.
"I was going to. You know, Cade, everyone makes mistakes. Maybe I screwed up with Lola, but fuck. Imagine if I told them both, and it turned out not to be true. I'd be causing trouble when I never needed to. When I didn't want to."
He breathes out. "I can see that."
I gulp down air and try to find calm. "And I never expected it to happen like that. A fight with Dad that escalated into a brutal yelling match. And I most definitely didn't know they were home."
He points an accusatory finger at me. "That, right there, is something you should keep a secret. The last part."
"I don't get it. I've been trying with Lola, trying not to fuck up, and somehow, I do."
"There are ways and means—" Cade stops, stares at me. "And oh, my fucking God. You're in love with her, for real, aren't you?"
"That's my sister you're talking about," I deadpan.
"Lola. You know I meant Lola." He shakes his head. "Mr. Smooth falls to pieces when he falls in love."
In love? Me?
I care. She's in my heart. She's an obsession in my blood.
Love?
It's not about me being in love, though. It's about her.
And she's not.
