I really want to leap onto the computers, but first, I go to the maps and plot a chaotic road trip that cuts all over the place, up and down and even back the way I came in places.
For each section, I choose a name and destination—a loose back story. Easily remembered. The names I go with follow the alphabet: Amy, Betty, Cara, Doris. Names I can keep in my head.
I look at the places and areas I can be dropped off at. Some of them I could probably take a bus if needed. It'd be a last resort, but it's there.
Feeling somewhat better, I finally log onto one of the computers to see if there's anything I can use from the files I downloaded.
There's nothing.
Just the photos and things about me.
Dejected, I stare at the screen.
What if I've got it all wrong?
That's the other thought—other than to run—that pummeled me all night until I fell asleep at three.
And here it is again.
What if I got it all wrong?
Because not only does it make no sense that Enzo is Alex, but why would he do that when he took over the company to talk to me? Maybe I got it wrong.
Maybe Alex is real, and Enzo hurt him and took his phone.
Maybe...
But the "why" is there, blocking the way.
Why would he do that?
The "why" goes to the pretending and then to the idea that he hurt Alex.
Enzo wouldn't need to. Just like, why would Enzo lure me into an isolated, state-of-the-art house in the Rockaways if he wanted to hurt me? And why the hell would he bring his sister? From staging an attack to getting his friends involved in the abduction, it makes no sense.
He had me in his thrall.
Even if he was Alex, he had me in his thrall.
And as Enzo, he could have hurt me in his home. Sure, his sister turned up, but he could have waited.
As Alex, there are things he could have done to me in my home, in that construction site. And even the townhouse...
So, why do all that?
Maybe when my phone got dropped, the numbers somehow got jumbled?
It's a stupid lie to myself. One I see instantly.
It makes even less sense than the rest of it. But there's a naïve part of me that desperately wants it to be true.
I want to believe Alex is innocent.
And I want to believe he's a separate person from Enzo.
But the thing is, right now I only have my yearnings to go with, not proof.
Just photos.
