I was a princess, waiting to be crowned queen. The life we lived wasn't the safest, not by a long shot. Danger was at every corner.
But Dad did all he could to keep me safe and happy, so my dreams were big, but they were also achievable.
Now?
Now I don't have a penny to my name, not until the accounts are unfrozen, at least.
Finding a job was a struggle—a hard-fought battle that I finally won. Now that I have it, I'm not going to be the village idiot.
I learned early on that you take all the chances life throws at you because nothing is guaranteed. This job is here, and I will do my damndest to keep it because I might not get another. And honestly? I'm not really looking to start the process all over again. Once was more than nerve-wracking.
The Mancini name that once opened doors now slams them shut.
Every time potential employers found out I was Lourdes Mancini, I got discarded. Over and over again.
A nicer one finally told me to go back to what I have always been called, Lola, and on forms put Carino-Winters. Carino is my middle name. Winters is my maternal grandmother's maiden name.
Lourdes Winters. Sounds utterly formidable.
I never met her, but I like it, and it works.
The nice CEO told me a lie is always best aligned closely to the truth.
She, of course, didn't keep me on. They were small and couldn't take the scandal.
But I listened. So, I became Lola Carino-Winters.
I have always been out of the spotlight. Until Dad's scandals hit the news, we were a very low-key family, kept to ourselves and tried to just live our lives under the radar.
And after it all came to light, I kept out of it.
But life has not been fair or easy. I went from safety to rocky ground, alone with bills to pay, living in an old tiny apartment in Brooklyn that used to be Mom's and is still listed in her name.
It was rented for years, but the couple living there had moved pre-scandal.
Dad suggested keeping it empty while I decided what to do with it. Serendipity, maybe. I don't know.
But the Lola pre-scandal and Lola now are two very different creatures.
I was free to live my life, I could be whoever I wanted to be. I could have a life. I could dream. Big. And I wanted it all. All I deserved.
Now I have to keep my head down, my dreams small, if I can even dream at all.
Now I settle on surviving.
And I have to give it my all and swallow my pride if I'm ever going to have anything like a life.
After so many curveballs, I learned that it is easier and safer to just stay in my comfort zone.
Still, I pull out my phone and look at that last text.
WN
Are you wearing underwear?
That thrill races hot through my blood again.
And that helps.
