The money, the lavish life meant nothing much to me then, and I really don't miss it at all now.
Finances are harder where they didn't ever cross my mind back then. But counting pennies and frugality is easy enough to adjust to.
It won't even be forever.
I finally have a job, and now that Silas's report is in, I'm not leaving. Not unless he finds something else that makes it impossible to stay.
Like Enzo.
Last night was good, surprisingly good, and I felt like we had gotten closer, like tiny breezes carrying the scent of years ago with it. That's what it was like.
I kept catching moments of how we once were as kids, and my childhood crush would thump down on me at odd moments throughout the dinner.
The crush was so innocent. The thoughts in my head and what I have been doing to pictures and thoughts of him? Not so much.
So, maybe what I need to do is save up when I pay off the debts I have and then look slowly for something else.
Just to remove myself completely.
Nothing can happen with Enzo, of course, whether he is my boss or not. Not that there is a thing.
I laugh.
Here I am, having a different set of fantasies about him. Fantasies about not having a relationship like that ever being a possibility.
It wasn't. It isn't. There is nothing there.
It is all hormonal lust on my side and ignorant bliss on his.
Ignorant because this non-existent, non-starter non-relationship is in my head, and he has no feelings about me either way.
But my heart starts to thump because...there have been looks.
Maybe one or two.
Glances from him when he doesn't think I catch him.
Last night, I ran off before he could do anything, if he was going to do anything, but he was definitely fishing about a boyfriend.
And if I had flirted back, teased him about a girlfriend?
Would he have made a move?
Kissed me?
In my mind, I can see him making that move.
But if he did, would I still have run like Cinderella?
I rub my forehead. I know I like him as a person, despite the fact that I should hate him.
Sure, he has an arrogance that can come through when he is...
When he is what? I have seen it, I know he has beenarrogant with me when he made me move upstairs, when he jumped on my case, when he barked orders at me. But he can be a good guy.
He clearly loves his sister, Lyndall.
And he makes time for the staff. He doesn't flirt with the women or make inappropriate comments like half the male staff.
