Control. Giving it up. Wielding it.
The whole concept makes my panties wet.
Shit, I'm losing it.
I wait for a response, but none comes. I'm aware I didn't send something for him to respond to, but Alex just hit me with a lot.
So, I take a moment to breathe.
I set my phone down, turning the volume up to the first ping, and go into my bedroom with my purchases.
Alex watching me with someone else, even thinking of someone else, because at its core it would be that, right? Alex watching so he could... I'm not sure what he could or would do, but it all means he would have to be there in the room, he would have to watch.
The throbbing ache moves deeper, small waves of sexual desire take me, and I strip down, deciding to get ready for bed.
I look down.
My sex glistens with my arousal.
I don't think I have ever been this turned on in my life.
"Get it together, Lourdes." I try to drag myself out of the haze that has settled around me.
I go to my cheap dresser. I had to sell all my old furniture. I knew it was worth more to sell to an antiques collector—worth more than keeping. Worth it to sell and buy a cheap IKEA flatpack and have a good amount left over.
I pull out my oversized nightshirt. I might as well get comfy.
But I hesitate, and instead of putting on the shirt, I slide on the lace panties and the delicate bra.
And I suck in a sharp breath.
I look good.
Sexy.
The phone pings.
"Shit." I race out and grab my phone.
My heart thuds wildly at the sight of Alex's name, and I head back to my room, phone against my chest.
Alex
Did I scare you?
Me
No.
Alex
Turn you on?
I lay down.
My laptop is on the bed next to me, but I roll to my back and type on my phone.
My shaking finger hovers.
