Mia’s eyes snapped open.
Ross loved her.
Her demure side wanted to ration away her quick jump in judgment. Mia told herself it was nothing but pure ego making this ridiculous assumption about his heart. Sure, he never said the phrase aloud or uttered the wordlovein her presence. Not even when talking about innocuous things such as a love for peanut butter, sunny days, or camping trips to Camino Cove.
Regardless, Mia knew. She had seen it in his eyes, a burning ember so bright it glowed like gold and could have been seen from a mountain top. It was in his gaze, his touch, in every single kiss he laid upon her. And she accepted each individual element as if there was no responsibility or additional meaning behind the action. The revelation was heart-stopping. Their situation was more precarious than she originally predicted.
Ross’s love was a beautiful, iridescent bubble, and she stepped so close, it formed around her. Like a real bubble, the walls were flexible but fragile. There was no way for her to step out of the bubble, no matter how gentle she did it, not without popping it. It was either stay in the bubble or pop it. There were no other options.
The problem was, Mia didn’t have a choice. This perfect life on the campground was not hers, no matter how much she wanted it. Her life had a plan, and what she was doing at Camino Cove was one last elaborate act of pretending, as if she could live a simple life and be the person who had it. The reality was, the fates were dealing one more bad hand of cards as far as Mia and Ross’s relationship was concerned. She had to play it, even if it meant everyone lost, including her. She was destined to disappoint Ross once again. One final time.
The bubble was going to pop.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Something wasn’t right.Sure, on the surface, Mia was her usual cheerful self. But at some point, during the weekend, a switch had been flipped. He wasn’t sure how it was possible for her to spend whole days in his presence and still appear as though she was avoiding him. It could have been the lack of eye contact or how she flitted from one inconsequential topic of conversation to another. It was also due to the fact she had long conversations with Hermes. His own dog was getting more attention than he was.
It wasn’t as though he didn’t try to move the conversation into a serious realm a few times, but Mia was a skilled boxer with shuffling, lightning feet, and dodged all of his attempts. By the time they were driving home, he had an entire weekend of frustration building inside him, ready to burst. Bursting could be messy. He didn’t want messy, especially in regards to something he considered to be important.
They arrived at his home after a long drive. Mia’s car was parked in his driveway, exactly where she’d left it before their trip, covered in a layer of soft, forest dust. He pulled alongside her car, putting his vehicle into park. They met at the truck bed as Hermes trotted across the yard to sniff shrubbery. Mia’s backpack was slung over her shoulder.
“I’ll help you unload,” she offered with a smile.
“It’s okay. I can take care of it.”
“I know you can. You’ve been taking care of it all weekend. You should go inside, relax, and I’ll take care of it for a change.”
“Thanks for the offer, but I think I’ll pass.” There was a brief moment of silent awkwardness between them. Ross was stacking the final blocks of his courage together.
Her mouth opened, shut, and then she chewed on her lower lip for a moment before blowing out a breath. “Okay, well, I better be heading home. Thanks for my first real camping trip. I had a great time.”
It wasn’t as though he wasn’t going to see her again, but this window he gave himself, one of the reasons he wanted to take this trip, was closing with each step she took toward her car.
She was almost there when he called her name.
Her pupils might as well have been two big question marks as they watched him approach. Ross’s brain raced through every thought he had during the car ride home, leaving him with a few precious moments to pull it all together in a smooth, convincing argument. He decided to go with, “Move in with me.”
Was it too late to start over? It was clear he settled on the worst possible option as he watched her sunny disposition melt into slacked bewilderment.
“What?” Her voice was nothing more than a crack in the silence.
It wasn’t the reaction Ross was counting on, and a bubble of turmoil was forming in his gut at her response. Mia already spent half her nights at his place. Maybe asking her for the full week wasn’t a big deal, but it was a big dealto him. He’d never asked someone to move in before. He’d never had a desire to ask before now. But he had allowed himself to feel a glimmer of hopefulness in this particular woman.
There was no chance for a do-over. He had no choice but to plow straight ahead. “I asked if you’d move in with me.”Great.There was nothing like repeating the same exact thing which had been declared a mistake the first time around. This wasn’t going well at all.
He took a deep inhale and tried again. “Look, I… Let me just say a few things before you jump in. I know you have your plans, and if you have your heart set on that, then it’s going to happen, and there’s really nothing I can say. But I just want you to know you have another option.” Ross paused, drawing closer. “Me.”
He swallowed hard, doing his best to smother the poor self-esteem threatening to break the surface. “I know it doesn’t sound like much of an offer compared to the dream of going off and doing big things, but…I want to be with you, Mia. You can have whatever you want, go wherever you want. I want to stay in your world. Is there an option here where I don’t have to lose you?”
She slumped against her car for support, her hands spreading across the surface of her face. “Ross, if I stayed I wouldn’t have any real job prospects here. Believe me, I wish it was so easy for me to stay.”
Ross leaned against his truck, jamming his hands into his pockets. “It doesn’t have to be difficult. You could make that decision.”
She sighed, her face still partially hidden behind her hands. “I’ve been accepted into a program. It’s in Texas. I’m sorry.”
“Oh.” The word was insufficient to describe the air being punched from his body. She’d known the whole time. No wonder she was avoiding him. Ross felt foolish for even hoping.
She removed her hands from her face but avoided eye contact with him. “And I always thought leaving would be easy. But now there are things I don’t want to give up, like you and Hermes and your beautiful refrigerator covered in photos. But if I don’t, it’s like I’m admitting I gave up, that I’ll never succeed, and maybe I’ll just work in a coffee shop forever. And you’re amazing and wonderful, but I have no idea what my future looks like if I stay.”
