“Have you told her this?”
He set his bottle on an end table before running a hand through his hair. “No, of course not.”
“I think—”
“I’m not telling her,” Ross interrupted.
“I don’t think you necessarily need to tell her all that. But, since it sounds like you’ve never even had a conversation on the topic, maybe give her something, so she knows she has a different option if she wants it.”
“What? Of course, she has an option. Mia always has the option to stay here in town if she chooses. She doesn’t need me to tell her that.”
“A lot of mistakes can happen because of assumptions. Maybe she feels like she has to go. Maybe she doesn’t think you’re open to committing. Maybe she’s never considered it. You’re not going to know if you don’t have a conversation about it.”
Ross considered his cousin’s words. In the early days, Mia discussed her future freely, but she appeared resigned more than anything else. It was as though her fate was decided, and Mia accepted it with a shrug of her shoulders. These days though, she never wanted to discuss it, preferring to talk about setting up the local artist showcase at Pony Expresso instead. Perhaps she had changed her mind.
It had all become complicated and he hated complication. “And if she stays and it doesn’t work out between us, then I just ruined her life for nothing. I’ve been disappointing people my whole life, and you know it. I don’t want to do it anymore.” Ross was afraid his Atlas lacked the upper body strength to hold the globe of Mia’s hopes for the future. He’d rather not hold it at all.
“Good grief, Ross. I’m not telling you to kidnap the woman and force her to be with you. I’m only saying you offer her an alternative and let her make the choice. Yes, she can make a decision to just stay in Placerville if she wants, but that’s jumping into a completely unknown situation. I don’t know anything about Mia, but I would be scared. Besides, even if she does decide to go, it doesn’t have to be the end of it. People have made long-distance relationships work before, and she won’t be in the program forever.”
“She could be gone for years and out of state. I’m trying to run a business. She’ll be knee-deep in her education, and even after she finishes, she’ll have to go to where the jobs are. Placerville probably doesn’t have a lot of opportunities for someone with a doctorate in political science. And I’ll still be here, fiddling in the workshop, the same old Ross.”
“What exactly do you want? No excuses. Just straight want.”
Ross didn’t have Mia’s vault of fancy words ready to be used at a moment’s notice. All he had were the raw words of longing for something out of his reach. “I want Mia. I want all of her and everything that comes with it.”
“Alright, then. Talk to her. If you feel you’re going to lose her anyway, what do you lose by telling the truth about how you feel? And if you let her walk away without saying anything, then you don’t deserve her.”
Chapter Thirty-One
“He asked meto go camping with him for my birthday,” Mia moaned to Natalie after explaining why she had to trade her weekend schedule with one of her coworkers. She draped her upper body across the counter. Her despair over the situation warranted it.
“You don’t like camping? My family loves to go camping near Tahoe,” Natalie said.
“I don’t know. I’ve never been.”
“Wait. Likenever-never? M, look at me and tell me you’re joking. What about when you were a kid?” Natalie shared a look with the customer who stood at the register. “You hear this, Fran? Mia, here, has never gone camping and now she’s freaking out.”
Mia snapped up and began putting Fran’s regular drink order together. “I slept in a tent at a friend’s sleepover one time, but it was in the backyard. And I’m not freaking out…not much anyway.”
“That doesn’t count.” Natalie replied while finishing the transaction.
“Doesn’t count,” Fran agreed.
“My mom wasn’t one for roughing it, so we never went. I’ve always wanted to try it, though.”
Natalie turned to face her. “Then why are you upset about your jewelry man taking you camping? And he’s doing it for your birthday? That sounds really sweet.”
“I’m not upset about the camping. I’m just…” Mia couldn’t think of the words to express her frustration and instead flung her hands in the air with a groan.
“Is it not going well between you two?”
“Is the magic gone in bed?” Fran guessed.
Mia and Natalie both swung their gazes to the octogenarian who seemed more at home tending geraniums rather than engaging in sex talk.
“Good lord, Fran. Here’s your drink.” Mia waited until the customer got bored and scuffled her way outside.
“Okay so what is it?” Natalie asked when it was quiet again.
