A faint but deep, rich scent of coffee beans expelled from her skin and clothes. The smell was as addictive as actual caffeine.
Her gaze slipped to his in a shy glance.
“You smell like coffee,” he said.
She blushed, her eyes growing behind the lens of her glasses. “I’m so sorry. Is it bad?”
Considering all he wanted to do was place his face along the crook of her neck and take a long, greedy whiff, how bad could it be? He resisted the temptation, not wanting to come off as a creep. “It’s fine,” was all he replied.
“Did you ever go to any of the school dances?” Mia asked after a time.
“I wasn’t really allowed to with my GPA, but I snuck into a few of them. I did go to the sophomore prom with Becca Brown. I asked her before I realized I wouldn’t be permitted, nor did I have any money to buy tickets.”
“So, how did you go?”
“I worked extra shifts at the store to borrow money from my grandpa, and then I begged one of the teachers to let me buy tickets, so I wouldn’t be completely embarrassed.”
“I don’t think I remember Becca Brown.”
“Another case of classmate amnesia?” He smiled. “Don’t worry, you probably didn’t know her. She wasn’t in any of the AP classes.”
They danced in silence for a while before Ross spoke again. “Did you go to the dances?”
“A few. I never went with anyone except friends. It wasn’t really my scene. You know how it is.” Mia grew more relaxed in his arms as she played with the seam at his shoulder. “Ross?”
“Yeah?”
“You know I don’t think of myself as perfect, right?”
He pulled away to give himself a better view of her face. “Mia, I didn’t mean to be so harsh. Just forget it.”
Mia forged ahead as if she didn’t hear his words. “I failed my driving test the first time I took it, not the written part, but the actual driving part. I lied to my friends, saying something came up, and I wasn’t able to take it on my scheduled day. I was so embarrassed by my failure. Only my family knew, and they teased me about it for at least a week straight. And there was one time I went to a friend’s pool party when I should have studied for a test. Luckily, the teacher let me make that one up. But the test with the B- was hung on the front of our fridge for a long time as a joke. Or the time—” She glanced at him, her cheeks coloring. “Anyway, I can’t take the feeling of disappointing people. I’m afraid of failing, of not meeting the high expectations.”
“I’ve only ever had the expectation of failure. Which one is worse?”
“Maybe it’s the expectations themselves which are the issue, whether it’s high or low. But you’re not remotely a failure. You are a success. You have a business. You found your spot. I really admire what you do.”
He wasn’t sure if this was true, but he appreciated the sentiment regardless. Ross’s heart warmed to her. “I know it doesn’t matter, but, back then, I wanted to ask you to junior prom.”
Her eyes, lit with surprise, searched his face. Seeing sincerity there, her expression softened. “I know it doesn’t matter, but I would have said yes.”
And it was true, none of it mattered. At the time, Ross had no money, a low GPA, and, by the time junior prom rolled around, he was a high school dropout. But before his life had fallen into complete shit, there was an earlier period when he had the smallest glimmer of hope, and life didn’t seem too bad. There had been Mia, after all. She was kind to him. Plus, she had warm amber eyes and an adorable dimple. He was so hungry in those days, Ross craved whatever emotional nourishment he could find.
One time, at her home, they had been at the dining table when Mia giggled at something he said. Her dimple pierced her right cheek. Ross pressed his finger into it as if he would be able to feel her joy and not merely see it. Her smile had always been large as if it needed to convey the exact size of her heart. In the background, he caught her father’s cool blue eyes drilling into him as the judge cleared his throat while taking a brisk path into the room.
“Hello, Mr. Russo,” Ross blurted, retracting his finger from Mia’s cheek.
The judge narrowed his eyes. “Doesn’t sound like any work is being done.”
“Judge, leave the kids alone,” Mrs. Russo called from the kitchen.
He grumbled his displeasure before departing for another area of the house.
Even if Ross didn’t have all the strikes against him and he had managed to ask Mia to prom, he was positive her father wouldn’t have allowed it. But, tonight, she told him she would have said yes. He wanted to believe her, and this, at least, was something. A tiny crumb could satisfy the craving lurking beneath the deep, unexplored edges of his soul.
Ross spread his fingers across her back and adjusted his arms to hold her nearer, bringing their coupled hands to his chest. Mia settled into him, and the rich scent of coffee beans curled around them like a comforting blanket.
Chapter Seventeen
