then do it right.”
“What does that mean?”
“I mean, that it’s a chance to start over in every way. To build the kind of life you want for
yourself. I know we haven’t been super close, but I get the feeling that your life hasn’t been…easy up
to now. So if you want a chance to build something different, then do it.”
“What are you suggesting I do?”
“Put yourself out there. Make friends. Fall in love. Live big, my friend.”
My friend. The way she says that so casually, when I know I haven’t been a very good one back,
is humbling.
“I don’t know if I can do that.” But the idea is tantalizing.
“You’ll never know if you don’t try. What’s the worst that could happen?”
What is the worst that could happen? Best case, I end up with a colorful life.
Worst case? I realize the problem has been me all along.
There’s only one way to find out, though.
Opening a new note on my computer, I type out a heading for a new list:Time to Get Living,then I
start typing.
Fly on a plane
Make a friend
Kiss someone
Laugh so hard I nearly pee my pants
Get a passport
Travel outside the country
Go on a date
Hold hands
Get a boyfriend
Have sex
Fall in love
The list feels overwhelming. I’m thirty-four, and my list is filled with things most people do
before they graduate college. I’m pathetic, and I’m sick of it.
That’s it.
