He groans. “No, Maya, they don’t.” He sits on the edge of the chair, bracing his elbows on his
knees. “You are an incredibly dynamic woman. You’re thinking five steps ahead of anyone else in my
department, and you seem to understand people’s needs and motivations in a way that most people
can’t. But for someone so observant, you have a pretty big block when it comes to yourself.”
My chest feels tight. I cross my arms over my chest, sinking down into my chair. “And what is
that?”
“You use your clothes to push people away. I think you almost take pride in not fitting in. In being
different.”
“It’s not pride,” I whisper.
“What is it?” he whispers back, nearly begging me with his eyes to let him in.
“It’s easier. I know what to expect from people now. It’s predictable. I like that.”
“So you’d rather stay in the little box you created for yourself than try something new.”
“Yes,” I say mulishly.
He shakes his head, staring down at my toes. “Those shoes I bought you are better than your old
ones, aren’t they?” I nod, but I’m sure he doesn’t need it. I haven’t lost my shoes since he gave me the
new ones. They feel like slippers…almost as comfortable too.
“They’ve made your life better?”
Another grudging nod.
“So what if a few nicer pieces of clothing could do the same? Not because you’ll look different,
but because you’ll feel different.”
I already feel different. Like I’m outgrowing my skin, and I’m not sure I like it. The old me was
safe and predictable. “And it’s not because you don’t want to be seen with me?”
He shakes his head, but something shifts on his face and makes me push him. “Really?”
His sigh is long and a little annoyed. “I’ve walked down a street with my brothers covered in
body paint. I’ve been kicked out of buffets and bars. I have a high tolerance for embarrassment, and if
you were really happy in your clothes, I wouldn’t push this.”
My stomach is resting somewhere around my ankles. We’re ill-matched, and I’m starting to
realize everyone sees that. “Would it make you happy to have me wearing things like this?”
“Do what you want Maya, but yes, it would make me happy. You look beautiful, and you seem
comfortable, and I like that. I like that I can give you that.”
