“I didn’t. She’s just order lotions to be delivered or send me to the store with cash and get me to
pick something up.”
“Holy fuck,” he mutters, staring at me like I’m an alien.
“It wasn’t the easiest way to grow up, but a lot of people had it a lot worse.”
He scowls and grips the edge of the tub. “Don’t do that. Just because others had it worse, doesn’t
mean the way you were treated is ok. People always said shit like that to me.Well, at least you have
your brother. Well, at least you made something of yourself. Look how successful you are now.”
The way he spits the words out makes me hurt for the little boy he was. I asked Cara enough
questions to get the bare bones of his story. I can’t imagine what it would be like to lose both my
parents so young. In the lonely corner of my mind, maybe I understand people pointing out at least he
had his brother. At least he wasn’t completely alone in the world. “Maybe not, but it’s easier to look
at it that way. For me. I don’t want to spend any more time looking back and wishing things were
different.”
“That’s probably healthier,” he says grudgingly, dropping his chin on his arm. “Doesn’t make
what she did ok.”
“No, I don’t think it was ok. I just can’t be angry about it anymore.”
He nods, staring absently at my knees. “But hey, look how you turned out,” he says, making me
laugh.
“I think I turned out ok. I’m not for everyone, but I’ve learned to live with that.”
His eyes are so serious. “I think you turned out great.”
I narrow my eyes at him. “Really? Because it hasn’t felt like there’s much about me you approve
of.”
He looks away, absently rubbing his cheek. “I fucked up, Maya. I shouldn’t have been so hard on
you. I don’t have any excuse.”
“It’s ok,” I say with a smile. I have to force it not to crumple. “I wasn’t what you expected, and
you had a hard time adjusting.” Doesn’t feel good to say. At all.
He shoves his hands roughly through his hair. “It wasn’t that. Not really. You made me feel—.“ At
the knock on the door, his head snaps up.
“Lotion,” I whisper, wishing the hotel hadn’t been quite so efficient. I desperately want to know
what he feels, and I’m cursing the interruption.
