“You condescending fuck. Want me to get a hobby? Sit at home and knit booties for my imaginary children? Maybe find a boring stuffed shirt and marry him? Pop-out some real babies to make booties for? How should I be spending my time exactly? Oh wait, maybe I should sit at home and play video games like you? Live in an imaginary world and make friends I can only talk to online.” She sneers. “Yeah, your way is so much better.”
My ears are on fucking fire. And my defensiveness rears its ugly head. I feel it coming, and I’m powerless to stop it. Three weeks of worry and stress, and frustration pour out. “At least I have real friends, Cara. Instead of spending my time with a bunch of random men at clubs all over town.”
She presses a hand to her stomach and steps back. “So wrong. How could I have been so wrong?” she mumbles, almost to herself. Her hard eyes lock on mine. “I think we’re done here. You’ve made it very clear what you think about me. And I have no interest in standing here while you slut shame me.” I flinch at the word ‘slut’ coming from her lips. I never once thought that, but it obviously came out that way. I want to crawl into a hole and let her shovel dirt on top of me. That would feel better than standing here, knowing I just destroyed the last bit of hope I had for us.
Her eyes sweep the room one last time, then she tosses the panties at me. “Here. A little something to remember me by.” Then she sweeps out of the room like the world didn’t just explode, leaving me in the wreckage.
“Brother.” Colton’s voice brings my head up. He’s standing in the doorway, rubbing his fingers through his beard. “What was that?”
How the fuck is he always right there every time I fuck up? Asshole must be psychic.
“Nothing.” I don’t want him digging into my head and pulling all my secrets out. He’s too fucking good at it.
“Didn’t look like nothing. I haven’t seen Cara look like that...ever. What the fuck did you say?”
“It’s automatically my fault?”
He puts his hands up defensively, but he’s not backing down. “Cara’s one of the most level people I’ve ever met. She handles shit that would send me through the roof. She handles it with an attitude, yes, but underneath it all, nothing gets to her. Nothing bothers her. She looked really fucking bothered just now.”
“She didn’t like me calling her out on her social life.”
“Social life?”
“Yeah, all the fucking clubs. The guys she’s always mentioning. I swear there’s a rotation of them.”
Colt winces, closing his. “Fuck. Tell me you didn’t.”
“Didn’t what?”
“Say something stupid.”
“I just told her she should find something better to do with her time than go to fucking clubs.”
“Oh, you did it. Oh, god. You’re never getting in there now. Never.”
“What the fuck is the big deal? I called her out on her shit. Why is that so horrible?”
“Because you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.” He leans against the doorframe, nearly filling it with his big, fat body. Ok, not fat. But he’s still a stupid head. “You’ve made a fuck of a lot of judgments about Cara. I can almost see why, with the way she would corner you at work. But seriously, man, I don’t think you could have said anything worse to her.”
My righteous indignation is failing me. Something in Colt’s eyes says I’ve fucked up so badly that I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, brother, that she may be hell on wheels, but she’s never paid anyone the kind of attention she did to you.”
“She likes to fuck with me. That’s all. She knew she made me nervous.”
“She knew, I think, but she wasn’t fucking with you. She was teasing, maybe. Being a little forward, but,” he winces, “I’m pretty sure she had a thing for you. I never saw her get that close to anyone else.”
I wish he was right. But she just told me she didn’t. It’s all just wishful thinking on my part and delusion on his. “She’s a walking wet dream, Colt. She gets attention wherever she goes.”
“Yeah, she does. She uses it to her advantage when it suits her, but she never crosses that line. Never.” Rubbing the back of his neck, he wanders closer. “I don’t know how or why you made up your mind about her. You didn’t used to be so judgmental. I thought you liked her, man. Didn’t you?”
“I do like her. A lot.”
“Then why the fuck did you blow it up?”
Great question. I have no fucking clue. Or maybe I do, and I don’t want to admit it to myself. Or to Colton. Maybe I wish she would have done more than tease me. Maybe I wish I would have been enough for her. Been better. Been someone who could handle her. I was fucking trying, but apparently not fast enough.
I end up shrugging because how the fuck do you say that you’re jealous, and you handled it like a little shit? Because I did. The knowing look Colt gives me makes me think he’s got me figured out.
