“Let’s pretend for a minute that I believe that shit. One fight, maybe two, is about skill. Six, Colt? Six fights is not that. You getting in a ring to let people beat on you over and over is not a fucking healthy outlet.”
“I haven’t done that before. Usually, it’s one or two.”
“Then what changed? Why the fuck would you do that to yourself yesterday?”
He paces away from me to the massive windows. “I had some shit going on. I thought I’d work it out. I didn’t plan it.”
“What shit Colt?”
His mouth tightens, and he walks to the dining table to play with a machine on the edge. He won’t meet my eyes. And suddenly I realize the only thing that’s changed in the last month is me. I shifted things between us yesterday.
“Me,” I say tightly. “You went there because of me?” He doesn’t answer, and I feel like a balloon that someone let all the air out of. Clearly, something I did yesterday set him off. I pushed for something or said something that played a part in this.
“I never should have asked you to show me the gym. I shouldn’t have told you all that crap about my family. Maybe I should start driving myself to work. I have to figure it out, eventually.”
“No! Nothing has to change. Everything is fine, Evie. It had nothing to do with you.”
“It’s not fine Colt. For a second today, I thought you were dead. Mia spent all morning crying over you. None of that is ok. What am I supposed to tell her? And what do I tell her next time you disappear on us?”
His shoulders are slumped, his bloodshot eyes staring into mine. “There won’t be a next time. I promise Evie. Never again.”
“Just like that? You’ll stop doing something you’ve been doing for years? Is that realistic?”
“Yes. I will stop, and I’ll figure out some other way of dealing with the shit in my head. I fucking swear it.”
“I hope you can. This isn’t healthy, Colt. You have so much. You’re risking it all every time you go there.”
“I’m a good fighter, Evie. I’ve been safe.” He says, any hint of cockiness gone. That’s the only thing that stops me from going off on him again. The sad thing is, he truly believes it. Has he learned nothing from my work stories?
Tears fill my eyes. “You know better Colt. I’ve seen too many people come into the hospital, paralyzed or worse, brain dead, from one mistake. You can’t protect your family if you’re dead, asshole.” Letting the tears fall, I move to him, cupping his cheek in my hand.
He leans into me, eyes drifting closed. The intimacy and the pain of this moment make my chest ache. “You can’t do this and be in Mia’s life. She won’t understand.” I sigh heavily. “I don’t understand.”
His hand rises to cover mine. “I promise. You both mean so much to me. I won’t ever go there again.”
“Not good enough. Promise me that if you feel the need to fight, you’ll do it with gloves and head protection. In a ring. In a fucking gym.”
His eyes burn into mine. “I promise. No more underground fights. No more doing shit that could hurt me.”
I slowly pull away, already missing his warmth, missing touching him like he’s mine. I still don’t really understand what happened, or why he went, but I’m positive it had something to do with me. Despite his denials, I broke something between us yesterday. And I don’t know if it’s fixable.
“Should I come down and talk to Mia?” He asks, eyes pleading with me to let him try to fix their relationship.
I shake my head. “Not today. She has a lot of questions and I need some time to talk to her. Try and explain things.”
He ducks his head, crossing his arms over his chest. “Tomorrow then?”
“Maybe,” I whisper with a sad smile.
“Evie,” he says urgently, gripping my arm. “I…you and Mia, I can’t lose you. I need you both in my life. Everything has been better since you moved in.”
“We’re not going anywhere, Colt. I just need a day. I still consider you one of my very best friends. I’m not going to just let you go.” I don’t understand the way his mouth tightens.
“I won’t let you go either.”
18
COLTON
