“Fuck off, Micah,” is his brilliant reply.
Still laughing, I head to the fridge, grabbing the extra packages of steak. I carry it all back to the outdoor kitchen built around the BBQ. Ransom insisted we all have them, but Kade’s the first to actually put in a BBQ.
None of us have ever bothered to cook. I guess we never had a reason to. It’s just as easy to make a sandwich when you’re young. And now that we’re really fucking rich? It’s easy to text one of my brothers and head out to eat. Before Becca, I would usually text Kade. Kade’s shiny new relationship has fucked with my life. But I’m not bitter.
Maybe a bit jealous, though.
I really fucking like Becca. She’s an ass kicker, and she keeps Kade in line. She’s great for him. He’s finally looking healthy. Most of that has to do with getting a full eight hours every night, since, thanks to Becca and now Holly, he doesn’t have to work in the garage office at night.
Now, he’s at our head office most days doing his real job, running all the Brash Auto Group’s garages. The nine of us grew up with nothing. Less than nothing, actually, in foster care. But together, we built a fucking empire and became a family. I have eight brothers, tighter than blood, and every one of them live right here, at the top of our castle…a forty-story high rise. Way better than a fucking castle. But until Becca, it’s just been us brothers.
It’s good he has her. I just fucking miss him. I’ve gone from seeing him every day to only catching him at our weekly family dinners and the occasional weekend. Becca invites me over all the time, but it’s awkward as hell, sitting next to them while they rub up on each other on the couch ‘cuddling’.
But today, I said yes to hanging out. I told myself it’s because Kade needed help carting up the BBQ, but that’s a lie. It has nothing to do with the fact thatshewill be here. Another lie. And no, I have absolutely no interest in making her mine. Might as well go for the lie trifecta while I’m at it.
I stand back and watch Kade frantically season the steaks, muttering the whole time. I almost wish I knew how to cook so I could help. So I could cook Holly’s steak.
Maybe I do understand why he’s cooking.
Fuck. She’s not mine so that thought is messed up. I shouldn’t have come. But I can’t not be here. Holly’s going to see that fucker today and I hate it. She shouldn’t ever have to lay eyes on him again. Just the idea of her husband makes the rage course through my body. I wish for the thousandth time that I could have been the one to put him down. To make him bleed. Becca was too damn efficient. I would have dragged it out. Made him whimper. But his time will come. I’ll make sure of it. I won’t be satisfied until he has to spend the rest of his life being hand fed and shitting himself.
The idea of him putting his hands on Holly. Making her hurt, making her bleed. It guts me. Nothing I do — or have done — to him is going to be enough to make up for what he did.
She’s so fucking tiny. She looks like a fairytale princess. The top of her head only comes up to my chest. And those fucking curves. She is so round and soft and perfect. I can still feel the slight weight of her in my arms when I stopped her from tripping when we met. How soft her skin was. She was perfect. It was perfect.
At least, I thought it was. My ears heat thinking about her reaction. The way she froze. No way would I have let her fall, but I shouldn’t have grabbed her. Now every time I look at her, I think about her panicked breaths and wide eyes, and all the things that happened to her to make her react that way.
I’m a big guy. I know that. But I would never hurt her. Never. And I hate that she thinks I will. Every time I try to talk to her, she backs up or looks away. Then I get frustrated and get the fuck out. It’s all kinds of fucked up.
Kade finally pulls out his phone, and I knock my shoulder into his to get him to shove over. We stand there together watching that fucking chef teach us idiots how to grill a steak. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I don’t want the poor guy to fail again. He already looks like he’s on the edge. One more burnt steak may leave him babbling in the corner.
“Too…long.” I say as I turn back to the BBQ. Idiot left it on high for twenty minutes at least. I flick them all to the off position before turning the gas back on. Slowly, I spin the dials to high and close the lid. We stand, watching the temperature gauge tick up, both lost in thought. I can’t stop thinking about Holly, and I know for sure he’s thinking about Becca. He always is. He finally breaks the silence.
“Would it be weird to ask Becca to marry me?”
My eyes widen. “Yes.”
“Yes, it would be weird, or yes, I should ask her to marry me?”
I put down my beer. That’s the downside of signing. I always have to have a place to put my beer when I’m having a conversation.“It would be really fucking weird to ask her to marry you. You’ve only known her a few months, man!”Is he seriously considering it? Holy shit.
Kade’s nodding, but he doesn’t look like he agrees. “But…she’s it for me, man. I have no doubts about that. Why shouldn’t I propose?”
This dense motherfucker. “Why?” I ask.“Why do you want to propose?”
He shrugs, and rubs the back of his neck, then mumbles, “So she’ll stay with me.”
God. I shake my head and plant my ass on the concrete countertop.“So you think, if you put a ring on it, that Becca will stay? Is it a fucking ball and chain? Is it going to be so heavy she can’t walk out the door with it on?”
“Fuck you, man,” he mutters, hiding behind his beer.
I stare at him until he looks at me again, giving him time to settle.“You can’t make her stay with you. You know that, right?”
“Yeah,” he says grudgingly.
“So a ring won’t change that. But it sure as fuck could chase her away.”
Kade’s beer sloshes when he slams it down next to the BBQ. “What the fuck do you mean?”
