Better than beating up every bully in elementary school. Better than opening the garage. Better than finishing a custom job and seeing the owner tear up. Better than all the money in my bank accounts. Better than any sex, with any woman I’ve ever been with.
One simple, barely there kiss, and I’m wrecked for life.
She’s making soft, breathy sounds as she explores my top lip, licking and sucking, before moving to the bottom. She gets braver and adds tiny bites that make every muscle in my body clench. I haven’t come in my pants since I…fuck, I’ve never come in my pants. But this tiny, one-hundred-and-fifty pound woman has me on the fucking verge. The little black spots dancing in front of my eyes finally force me to suck in a deep breath. And it gets worse. Her scent is driving me mad. I swear she smells like fucking apple pie. I’m drowning in her, and I don’t give a damn.
She pulls her lips away, pressing her forehead against mine. I memorize everything about her. The soft blonde brown of her eyebrows, the small freckle on the corner of her eye, the white lines of long healed hurts at her hairline.
The scars are a sobering reminder of the many invisible hurts still riddling this beautiful woman. It makes controlling my instinct to claim her easier.
I miss her before she even pulls away. Knowing that from this moment on, I’ll always feel colder without her in my arms. Like a fucking piece of me is missing. To have her touching me, trusting me is everything. “You…ok?” I ask her through the tightness in my chest.
Her eyes are dazed as she slowly touches her lips, rubbing them wonderingly. “I didn’t know,” she mumbles, bringing her other hand to my lips. I can’t resist giving her finger a tiny little nip. Her breath catches in her throat, her body jumping. I capture her eyes with mine, letting her see what she’s done to me. Her dazed, “Woah,” pulls a chuckle out of me.
I slowly bring my hands between us, briefly cupping her cheek, then moving to sign. “Are you ok? Was that ok? Need to gather a bit more data?”I smile, unable to resist teasing just a little. I love the way her cheeks pink up when I do.
“I’m ok…I didn’t know.”
“Know…what?”
“That I could…it could feel like that.” Her voice is slow, wondering.
“You…feel…good?”
The tiniest of smiles graces her lips. “I feel really good.”
I exhale heavily, the last little worry leaving my body. She liked it. And hopefully, if I keep making myself available, like really available, we’ll do it a lot more.
“You can experiment with me anytime. I will dedicate my body to the cause.”
Her snort makes me chuckle. She’s coming out of her shell, feeling safer with me.
She’s lost in thought for a while, and I’m content to sit, watching her. I slide my arm behind her back, giving her a bit of support, and she relaxes against me easily.
Win after fucking win today.
I still don’t know what happened to her baby, but I don’t want to break this peace we’ve found. It’s a question for another day.
“Could you take me to get some crutches?” She asks suddenly.
“I’m here. I can help you get around. I’m happy to do it.”I fucking love carrying her around, having her close to me.
She looks down, twisting her fingers together, then takes a deep breath and looks me straight in the eye. “I need to be able to get around on my own. I’d like some crutches.”
“Ok…we…go.” I scoop her up and stand. Her mouth drops open at my easy acceptance. She doesn’t believe me yet, but I made her a fucking promise that I’d give her anything she wanted. No way I’m going to fail on the first fucking request.
17
HOLLY
How is this my life?
Somehow, my trip to get crutches got hijacked. Micah wanted to take Jonas’s minivan. He kept muttering something about airbags and freckles. Declan and Colton were at Jonas’s and wanted to come, too.
So suddenly I was in a van with four giants. It’s the stuff of nightmares, for me at least. But I was surprisingly ok with it. Sure, a bit shy, but otherwise I wasn’t worried about my safety. And it wasn’t just Micah’s presence. It was the guys. They look at me, talk to me, like we’ve been friends forever. I don’t understand how they can be so kind, so quickly. Maybe it’s pity? Though I’ve been looked at with pity, and it doesn’t feel like this.
So here we all are, at six at night, in a massive medical supply store. How do they not have anything better to do on a Friday night?
My cheeks are blazing as the salesman and I watch the spectacle before us. I somehow feel like a parent explaining to the teacher why their child pulled their pants down in front of the whole class. “I’m so sorry. They…well they’ve been cooped up.” The boys are in fine form tonight.
