Iris cries in my arms, her hands balling in the fabric of my shirt, trusting me to take care of her while my throat feels tight because the only answer I have is going to break us.
“It’s not your fault,” I manage.
She pulls back far enough to look up at me. There’s this helplessness on her face that makes me want to tear the world apart. And I did this to her.
“Then whose fault is it?”
I clench my jaw. I wish I could tell her something that won’t make her hate me. But the truth is clawing its way out. I can’t lie to her. It’s not right.
“It’s mine.”
Confusion flickers across her face before the words settle. “What?” Her voice sounds so small as she releases my shirt and takes a step back.
I swallow hard. “Savannah. She threatened you. Said shit I wasn’t gonna let slide. So I went to Holloway. Told him everything. He fired her.”
My voice drops lower, thick with regret. “She must’ve done it to get back at me.” Iris stares at me without saying a word. “I thought I was protecting you,” I rush on, desperate for her to understand. “I didn’t know she’d do this. I swear, Iris, I didn’t think—”
“Didn’t think?” she cuts in, her voice hoarse from crying, but there’s an edge to it now that I’ve never heard.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, completely useless, but the only thing I can say. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
“You did this to me?” I open my mouth, but she doesn’t let me speak. “You just had to play the hero. Couldn’t leave italone. Couldn’t let me handle it.”
Her words are sharp, every word cutting somewhere deep, but I still try to defend myself, even though I know she’s right. “Iris, I—”
She wipes at her face, furious at the tears spilling down. “Do you have any idea what this feels like? Everyone knows now.Everyone. Because ofyou.”
I take a step closer, desperate to fix it. For her to forgive me. “I didn’t want her saying that stuff about you, I mean, the shit she said to me, it was so fucked up, I didn’t think—”
“That’s your problem, Nate. You never think. You do or say whatever you want, and then I’m the one left hurt,” she snaps. “And I’m supposed to what? Forgive you?Again?”
She shakes her head. “No. I can’t do this.”
“What?” She can’t really be saying…I step forward, reaching toward her, but she turns away from me. “No. Iris, no. Don’t say that.”
Her arms fold tight across her body. “You ruined my life.” The words are whispered, but they hit harder than if she screamed them. “You took my choice away. My safety. My future here.”
I put a hand on her arm, trying to get her to look at me. “Darlin’, I didn’t mean, God,I swear, I didn’t mean for it to go like this.”
She pulls away. “Stop. Just stop. Don’t call me that.” Her voice cracks on a sob, but she keeps going. “I can’t even look at you right now.”
I shake my head, panic rising as I realize I might not be able to convince her to forgive me this time. “I love you. We fixed things. You can’t walk away now, Iris, not after everything.”
“Love can’t fix this, Nate.”
Every word makes it harder to breathe. I can’t believe this is actually happening. “So that’s it? You’re done with me?”
She doesn’t answer right away, and the silence is the worst thing I’ve ever heard. Finally, she whispers, “Yes.”
Yes. It’s one word. It shouldn’t mean so much.
I stumble back a step, shaking my head. “Iris…” My hands fall to my sides because reaching for her again would be wrong.
She doesn’t want me.
I ruined her life.
“I’m sorry.” It’s all I have left to say, and it ain’t worth a damn thing.
