Big sister.The words are so simple, but they heal something inside of me that’s been broken for my entire life.
“You look pretty, by the way,” she says, and that’s all I can take.
“Can I hug you?” I ask, and she nods quickly, falling into my arms, hugging tight, the same way she used to. And even though we’re both older now, with ten years of separation sitting between us, it doesn’t feel any different from when we were kids.
“Are you happy?” she asks when we pull back, still holding onto each other. “In Rosehill, I mean.”
“I was. I thought I had met someone really special. But now….”
Her brows pull together. “Now?”
“I told him the truth about me. And I don’t think he wants to be with me anymore.”
“That explains the ice cream,” she says with a sad smile. “Was he good to you?”
I think of Nate being stupidly charming, the way he looked at me, and the way he kissed me. But then I remember the shock, the anger, the way everything shattered that night.
“He was wonderful,” I whisper. “Until I told him.”
She frowns. “If he can’t accept you—”
“I know, but it hurts. Missing him hurts so much.”
“You deserve to be loved completely, Kavi.”
“It’s actually Iris now,” I say, unsure how she’ll feel about me changing my name, but Anika blinks, guilt passing over her face.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t know. Iris, I like it. It suits you. Matches your vibe.” Her eyes trail over my outfit, making us both giggle.
“Thank you, Anika. That means everything,” I say, once our laughter dies down.
Will you call me?” she asks, hopeful. “Or text. I know it’s been so long, but—”
“I want that too. I’ve missed you so much, Ani. I don’t want to disappear again.”
“Good. Because I’m not letting you.”
We stand there for another moment, neither of us wanting to be the first to let go, but finally, she gives my arm a final squeeze and pulls back. “Get the cookie dough. It’s best when you’re having boy problems.”
“Okay.” A small smile tugs at my mouth as she starts to step back down the aisle, but she hesitates one last time.
“You’ll text me?” She confirms, and I feel another tug at my heart. I hate that I put that doubt in her mind.
“I will. I promise, Ani.”
She walks toward the front of the store,while I stand there, cookie-dough ice cream in hand, the cold seeping through the carton into my skin.
Suddenly, I don’t feel so alone.
The halls are always buzzing after the final bell. I’ve gottenused to it. Unlearned that feeling I used to get back when I was a student here. The urge to get out before anyone noticed me and—
I keep my head down and head toward the teachers’ lounge.
Ten minutes.
That’s all I’m giving myself.
Enough time for a cup of tea and a scroll through Instagram before I have to go back and deal with the mess my students left behind. Whose bright idea was it to mix teenagers and paint?
