Tears blur my vision as I stumble through the dark tunnels, the chill of the cave air seeping into my bones. Each step on the hard stone feels like a betrayal, the echoes of my feet reminding me of the warmth I once had in his arms. With every step, I am more acutely aware of how I am more alone now than ever.
At last, I reach the sleeping cave, the space feeling colder and emptier than before. I need clothes to leave this place in the dead of winter, but I have no idea where I am or how I can find my way back to town. I slump down next to the fire, staring into the glowing coals, casting around for a plan.
The sudden appearance of Eryon makes me jump. He throws my pack at my feet and coldly says, “Get dressed.”
As I put my clothes on, I feel my wildness bleed away. I will be constrained by society, by my future, once again.
The tears drip steadily off my face until I’m snuffling. I cobble together an outfit from my pack, vaguely wondering how he found it. Pulling on my pants reminds me of when my old pair were looped around his body. Tying my boots with their mangled laces only reminds me of when he cut them off.
All the moments we shared, I thought they meant something. I foolishly thought I had been falling in love with a Yeti. Even stupider, I thought I was going to save my own life.
Instead, I will return home empty-handed again. To nothing. I havenothing.
I zip up my parka and shoulder my bag. The Migoi pulls it off my shoulders and throws it over one of his, the bright yellow pack looking comically small against him. He takes off, and I scramble to keep up with his long strides.
Before long, we emerge into the bright sunlight. I follow, squinting and struggling to keep my balance on the snowy path and match his pace. Every few minutes, I fall behind, and he stops to wait but never turns back to look at me.
We walk, and we walk. Finally, exhaustion takes over. Myheart heavy with grief, I trip and sit down hard. There, on the cold, unforgiving ground, I stay, lacking the strength to go on.
When he realizes I’m not following him, he returns. Our eyes meet in a hard stare. With a deep, frustrated sigh, he picks me up again. I don’t want to sink into his warmth. I don’t want to curl my fingers into his thick white fur. I don’t want to remember how this felt when he saved me. In an ironic twist, he’s carrying me to my death.
Chapter
Fourteen
At some point I must have dozed off because, suddenly, the air is warmer and the forest is changing. I can feel the trees thinning around us, and the daylight is fading again. He must have carried me for hours.
The rushing of the river greets us as he sets me down on my feet and steps back. I look towards the sound to see if I can catch a glimpse of where we are, butwhen I turn back to ask him—he’s gone. Disappeared without a trace back into the woods without a goodbye or even a “fuck off.”
Some small part of me can’t help but wonder if he ever existed at all. But the pain gripping my heart and soreness between my legs are visceral reminders of just how real he is.
I follow the sound of the rushing water, blinking back more tears, unsure how I have any left. I settle my pack more securely on my shoulders, freeing my hands to grip the rope railing of the precarious bridge that spans the river.
Once across, I climb up a small hill and get my bearings. A cold gust pushes me back towards Eryon, but it would take more than the north winds to bring us back together. I lean into it and head towards the familiar guest house that I spot just ahead. As if Eryon knew exactly where to bring me back to.
I slog my way through the snow and slush, and make my way over the stone path to find my door still locked with my own lock. I fish the key out of the side pocket of my pack and let myself in.
Everything is just as I left it. I drop my bag by the door and glance longingly at the bed. The idea of crawling under the thick quilt and letting heartbreak and exhaustion take over is almost irresistible.
But I owe it to Sita and Tenzig to check in, let them know I made it back safely, and ensure Sita did the same. With a final reluctant glance at the bed, I close the door behind me and head to the lobby to find my friends.
I let myself in and head straight for the fireplace, holding my hands out towards the welcoming heat. When they thaw, I spin around to warm my backside and barely have time to brace myself as Sita barrels into me, crushing me in a fierce hug.
She pulls back, hands on my shoulders, to study my face. “Hai Migaia,I can’t believe you’re alive. We looked for days but had given up hope of finding you!”
A trickle of guilt courses through me at the thought of my friends searching for me, believing me to be dead while I was busy getting busy with a Yeti.
“I’m so sorry, Sita! I can’t imagine what that must have been like. I’m so happy to see that you made it back okay.”
Tenzig brings us steaming mugs, and we all sit by the fire together. I sip the sweet chai, the liquid heat a comfort after the ordeals of the past few days.
“How did you survive?” Sita asks.
“I was able to get out of the avalanche and then I found a cave to rest in.” The simplest explanation is usually the best. And I’m not lying, just leaving out key details.
She eyes me up and down, shaking her head in disbelief. “I know you’ll find your plant now. The gods have surely smiled upon you.”
I don’t have the heart to tell her I did, only to lose it again. So instead I reply, “I don’t know that the price is worth it anymore, Sita.”
