Realizing that we’re going around in circles again, I turn back to my eggs and take the first bite.
Nate watches me for a moment. “Sienna ... are you actually serious? About separating?”
“Yes,” I reply.
He leans back on the stool while I eat my breakfast, but at this point, I’m force-feeding myself.
“Please ... we can work things out,” he says.
I reach for my glass of orange juice and take a sip. “I’ve been trying to work it out with you for more than a year, but nothing ever changes.”
“I’ll do whatever you want,” he quickly replies.
Sensing that he’s finally starting to take this seriously, I set down my fork and lean back also. “And what do you think that is?”
“I’ll shut down the restaurant.”
My breath hitches. It’s an enormous concession, and we both know it.
“And I’ll get a job,” he adds. “I don’t know where but ... somewhere.”
Nate looks away. He seems lost, as if he’s drowning in that image, and though he’s finally agreeing to make a change, I take no pleasure in this. None of it feels right.
I get up and carry the dirty dishes to the sink and rinse them. When I turn around, Nate is still seated. He’s staring intensely at the floral centerpiece. Then his cell phone rings. He picks it up, checks the display, and says to me, “I have to take this.” He rises and heads for the den while I begin to load the dishwasher.
A moment later, he returns. “Sorry about that. I swear I wasn’t ditching this conversation, but it was Martina. I told her I won’t be working tonight. Graham can manage the kitchen on his own.”
I blink a few times and wonder if I’ve fallen into an alternate universe.
“I still have to go in this morning,” Nate adds, “just to prep Graham and make sure everything will run smoothly without me, but we can’t leave things like this. We should spend time together and talk some more.” He pauses. “Like we used to.”
I’m caught off guard. “Today?”
“Yes, this afternoon. Let’s go somewhere. To the South Shore. We could drive to Peggy’s Cove and have lunch.”
We haven’t been to the lighthouse at Peggy’s Cove in years—not since the kids were small. “I’d like that,” I reply, feeling the first traces of hope.
Nate gives me a small smile. “Good.” Then he checks his watch again. “I need to go and meet Graham, but I’ll let everyone know that I’m taking the whole day off. They’ll have to figure it out.”
When his eyes meet mine, I see where his thoughts have already gone—to the restaurant, tonight’s menu, the challenge of staff management. He’s becoming stressed, and my hopes wane.
“I’ll be back by noon,” he assures me.
“Sure.”
Remaining cool, I vow to myself that this will be the last chance I give him—because I’ve been down this road of empty promises too many times, and I’m almost certain that he’s not going to show up today.
Chapter Fifteen
A Warmth That Beckons
I am wrong. At precisely 11:55 a.m., Oscar goes ballistic when Nate walks through the front door.
In a way, it feels like some sort of genesis, yet I know that we are far from resurrected. It’s been ages since Nate and I have been affectionate with each other. I can’t even remember the last time we snuggled on the sofa. We’ve been detached, physically and emotionally, and though I’m pleased that he’s made this effort to come home today, I don’t know how we can ever find our way back to what we once were. There’s too much animosity between us now. Imitation smiles and awkwardness.
When he finally enters the kitchen with Oscar following excitedly, sniffing at his pant leg, I don’t have the first clue what to say to him. For a few clumsy seconds, we stand and stare.
“Do you still want to go to Peggy’s Cove?” he asks.
