“It’ll be different this time,” he says. “I promise.”
I let out a heavy sigh. “Can you please choose different words next time? I’ve heard those too many times.”
There’s a comforting softness in his expression. “Duly noted.”
The night nurse reenters the room with a cheerful smile. “How are you feeling?”
“Good,” I reply.
She checks the monitors, then reaches into the shirt pocket of her scrubs to retrieve a syringe. “It’s time for your pain meds, but the doctor ordered a lower dose for tonight. He wants to start scaling back so that you can get out of here.”
“I’m on board for that.”
She administers the medication, and after she leaves, I find myself studying the hints of gray in Nate’s hair and the lines around his eyes. His cheeks are stubbled because he hasn’t shaved in a while. I notice traces of gray in his beard as well.
“Can I talk to you about something?” he asks.
“Of course.” It’s been so long since we’ve communicated openly with each other, without walls of defense between us and weapons armed for our own agendas. I’m determined to be receptive and nonjudgmental.
“When I was in the car with Amanda,” he tells me, “she made a comment about Martina, something about her not being able to survive a night at the restaurant without me.”
“That’s interesting.” Clearly my daughter had my back while I was comatose. “Tell me more.”
Nate turns my hand over in his. “I hope you never imagined that there was anything going on between us, because there isn’t.”
After some contemplation, I decide that I believe him, but that doesn’t mean the problem doesn’t exist. As far as Nate’s concerned, there’s been nothing to worry about, but only because he’s been obsessed with other things. He’s been oblivious to the needs of his family, just as he’s been oblivious to the flirtations of his house manager.
“I believe you,” I say. “I trust that nothing’s ever happened, but I’ve also seen the way Martina looks at you, and I’ve seen her texts. She’s very flirty.”
Nate grimaces and speaks apologetically. “She is, but I honestly think that’s just her personality.”
A bitter laugh escapes me before I can stop it. “I don’t think so, and obviously Amanda doesn’t think so either.”
Nate stares at me with a blank expression, but there’s nothing blank about what’s going on in that head of his. I know him too well. I see the wheels turning.
He reaches for his phone and starts tapping and swiping. I wait patiently but recognize the effects of the pain medication the nurse just administered. My eyes are growing heavy.
“I’m reading some of her texts,” Nate says. “Sheiskind of flirty.”
“You don’t say.”
He continues to scroll. “She uses a lot of heart emojis. No one else does that except for you. Although not so much lately.”
I let my eyes fall closed and leave him to evaluate the situation. I’m just starting to drift off when he gets up from the chair.
“I’m going to give her a quick call and deal with this,” he says.
My eyes fly open, and part of me wants to suggest that he think on it first and strategize, but I’m too tired to talk anymore.
He leans over me and kisses my cheek. “Get some rest. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
I nod, fall fast into sleep, and float into my dreams, where I’m in our kitchen, cooking, while Oscar sniffs around my feet, waiting for food to drop.
The sky outside the window is growing light. “Good morning,” Nurse Katie softly says.
“Good morning,” I reply.
“Do you need some help getting to the bathroom?”
