She looked at him with anguish in her heart. “I believe you had your reasons, Duncan, and you must somehow forgive yourself.” She spoke the words with conviction, although a part of her wasstillwary of him and probably always would be. He had lost control of himself andkilleda man. He hadkilledmany men.
“I did have my reasons,” he said, “but I need you to understand something, if we are going to be together.” He touched her cheek with the back of a finger, then strode to the water’s edge. “I learned something about Richard Bennett on the day Ikilledhim,” he said, kneeling down and splashing water on his hands.
“What was that?”
He paused. “I learned that he and I were very similar, almost like mirror images of each other. The same, but opposite.”
“How so?”
“We were both warriors, both raised from birth to fight and survive and endure pain.”
She frowned. “But you are nothing like him, Duncan.
Because that man I almost married remembered his own pain, and he wanted to hurt others to make up for it, or to satisfy some dark hankering for revenge against the world.”
Duncan rose to his feet and faced her, so she continued.
“But I know now that the only thing you ever wanted was to prevent the suffering of others. You thought you wanted revenge, but what you real y wanted was to stop Bennett from doingallthe bad things he wanted to do to good people.”
“Similar,” Duncan said, “but different.” He strode closer.
“But most ofall, I couldn’t let him do those bad things toyou,lass. I’ll nevertellyou the things he said before I took his life, but I did what I did to protect you.”
“You did it for me?” she asked,stillfeeling asmallniggling of doubt, deep in her core.
“Aye.”
“But what about Muira?”
He stopped before Amelia and frowned. “What about her?”
Amelia looked away, toward a weepingwillow that dipped its branches into the water; then she slid her gaze back to Duncan’s face, marked with cuts and bruises. “When we were together one night, you told me that you did not want me to ever speak Muira’s name. I have felt your love for her between us, Duncan, but I cannot let it keep us apart any longer. I must understand how you feel about her, and about me.”
“There is nothing to understand,” he said, bewildered. “I loved her once, but she’s gone now. I know that.”
“But do youstilllove her?” Amelia asked. “Andwillyou ever care for me the way you cared for her? Because I cannot compete with a ghost.”
“Compete?”He looked at her as if she had just grown whiskers and a beard. “I don’t want you to compete, lass. I just want you, plain and simple.”
She sighed. “But that is exactly the problem, Duncan. Youwantme. You desire me. I’ve always known that, and I have enjoyed your passions aswellas my own. There has never been any doubt that there is lust between us. But…”
“But what, lass?” He seemed genuinely confused.
She did not know how to say it, how to explain herself, how to make sense of this, or demand what she truly wanted.
Then Duncan grimaced and took her chin in his big hand and shook his head at her, as if she were completely daft. “I didn’t want to speak of Muira that night,” he said, “because I didn’t want to imagine losing you the way I lost her. I couldn’t bear the thought of it. That’s why I didn’t want to be reminded of it. But you’re the one I love now, lass, withallmy heart. And if it weren’t for you, there’d be nothing left of me. At least now there’s something beating in my chest. I feel like I can final y have what I once wanted for myself—a peaceful woman for a wife, and a lusty one, too.”
“You love me?” she asked, realizing she’d not heard a single word he’d said after that little declaration.
“Aye, of course I love you, you ninny. Do you have stones in your head where your brain should be?”
She laughed out loud, but he was no longer listening. He was gathering her up into his arms, crushing her mouth to his in a fierce kiss that left her breathless with desire.
“I do love you, lass,” he said. “And I mean to keep you, too. Willyou be my wife and never run from me again?”
She felt completely besotted. “I promise I neverwill. I’d have to be a fool.”
He held her tenderly in his arms. “And I promise to be the gentleman you’ve always desired. Thatwillbe my vow to you, from this day forward.”
