Her passions cooled as she moved away from him. “BecauseIwas the one who freed Lachlan from his prison cell. I instructed my mother to write a note about an elopement. I told her exactly what to say, then I sent them both to Fort William to inform Colonel Worthington of my brother’s traitorous activities with Spain. When your cousin returns, he will attest to that. And incidentally, the English army could arrive at any moment to arrest Murdoch and restore Kinloch to you—our proper laird.”
Angus regarded her with surprise in the midday light. “You betrayed your brother?”
And why had she waited until this moment to tell him?
She turned her back on him. “I prefer not to think of it that way. I want to believe that I did the right thing, because I was faithful toyou,my husband, and the Union of Great Britain. Another rebellion against England could only end badly, I am sure of it. Besides, after what Murdoch tried to do to you…” She paused and steadied her voice. “But I thought you would have more faith in me, Angus. That you would return and believe me when I told you that I had nothing to do with Murdoch’s plan. How could you truly believe that I would do such a thing to you? That I would poison you? My own husband?”
He stepped forward to touch her, but she held up a hand. “Please, don’t. Just go, and come back when—andif—you find the proof that you require in order to trust me.”
Perhaps he should have argued with her and convinced her that he needed no other proof, that her word was enough, but for some reason, it had not been. If she had not offered him this evidence of her devotion, he would still be as doubtful as he was when he first walked in.
He wished he felt differently, but he supposed he was too jaded to take such a leap of faith. He had been wronged and injured many times in his life. He had even betrayed his closest friend, so he knew how easy it was to deceive someone. It was not so easy, therefore, to trust that it would not happen to him again. He had certainly earned it.
He turned to leave, but she stopped him. “Wait. What will you do with my brother?”
He paused. “I haven’t decided yet.”
“Will you have him executed?”
Angus inclined his head and studied her expression carefully. “Perhaps I will follow your example and turn him over to the English.”
She relaxed her shoulders slightly. “I know that what he did to you was wrong, but as I said before, he is my brother, and I don’t want him to die. For that reason, I have written a formal plea to Colonel Worthington to be lenient with his sentencing, in exchange for my testimony against him. I’ve promised written evidence of Murdoch’s activities in Spain.”
“And you’d trust the English to let him live, once they convict him of treason?”
Her shoulders rose and fell with a heavy sigh. “Perhaps I am more willing to trust a person’s word, once given. You taught me that once. Remember?”
Angus shook his head in disbelief. “Even after what your brother—and your own mother!—did to you? How they used you, Gwendolen?”
She answered without the slightest hesitation. “Aye, because what is the alternative? To give up on trust completely? People make mistakes sometimes, but if we care about someone, and he or she is truly remorseful, then we must forgive. And occasionally, a second chance is all that’s required for true redemption. You of all people should know that.”
He inhaled sharply. “Does your brother not deserve a second chance? Or do you offer your forgiveness selectively?”
“He tried to kill you, Angus, and I believe if given the chance, he would do it again. So there are limits to my forgiving nature. My brother feels no remorse. That is how I know I am doing the right thing. He is not the man I once thought him to be.”
They stood apart in the prison cell for a long time, saying nothing. After a while, Angus realized that the fiery rage he had experienced earlier was gone, and he felt a great admiration for his wife.
He was quite certain now that he believed her about the wine and everything else, but he wasn’t sure why he had been so blessed to have claimed such a woman as a wife. He did not feel worthy of her.
Perhaps that’s what was holding him back. Or was it something else? Perhaps he was simply incapable of giving his heart to another person. Perhaps it was too deeply scarred, and there was no hope of absolute, fearless love. Not ever. Perhaps this was the best he could do—to love cautiously.
He thought of his mother just then, and experienced a jarring flash memory of her face as she lay dead in the snow. He was only four years old when she was taken from him.
His eyes fell to Gwendolen’s abdomen, where his own child was growing in her womb. Somehow he knew this child would be brave and strong and sensible. How could he, or she, be anything but, with this woman for a mother?
He gazed serenely at Gwendolen from across the distance of the room. “You are free to go,” he said. “I’ll not keep you locked up.”
“Thank you, I suppose.”
He turned from the room and instructed the guard not to bar the door behind him, for his wife would be returning to her own private apartments. Then he descended the stairs and headed for the treasury. He needed to speak to Gordon MacEwen and send an important dispatch.
An hour later, after the battering ram was removed from the drawbridge and the debris from the broken gate was cleared away, Angus stood on the rooftop, watching his dispatch carrier leave the castle. The young clansman trotted over the bridge and broke into a gallop on the midday field. He circled around to the east, in the direction of Fort William.
Angus walked along the stone battlements, watching the clansman grow distant, and already, he felt impatient for his return.
Chapter Thirty-one
Gwendolen pulled off her shoes and stockings and sat down at the small table in her bedchamber, which she had dragged closer to the fire. A kitchen maid had delivered supper on a tray. It was a tasty meal of rabbit stew with chunks of hearty bread for dipping, and sweet fig pastries for dessert, but her appetite was sparse, for her mind was consumed by thoughts of Angus and what had passed between them that day.
