Derica tried to stay focused on her need to get away from Garren, but she found that she couldn’t. She didn’t want toadmit that she simply liked being around him, but she did. After a moment’s struggle, she resigned herself, feeling like a fool.
“Aye,” she muttered. “The de Rosas tend to be a riotous bunch. You may as well know that events like this are not unusual for us.”
Garren had a good grip on her, just in case bodies came flying in their direction and he needed to move her, quickly, to a safer haven. His eyes were sharp at the fighting going on, in particular, watching Hoyt clobber a nephew and brother to the point of unconsciousness. With the wimple off, there was no longer a question of the overly-made up creature being a man. He was colossal, with deadly fists.
A chair crashed against the wall near them, splintering. Above it all, Bertram was shouting for the disturbance to cease. No one was listening, however, and the punches continued to fly.
“I think we should leave,” Garren began to look around for an escape route. “I do not like the shift in winds.”
Derica shrugged. “This will calm soon enough, once they’ve blown off their anger.”
He spied an opening at the far end of the hall. “Perhaps. But I will not risk the potential for your injury.” He put both arms around her, shielding her with his massive body as they moved from the alcove. “The sooner we get out of here, the better.”
Derica permitted him to drag her along the wall until they reached the exit. It led into the servant’s passage that skirted the hall and led to the entrance of the larger tower. It was a cold night, with the stars bright above, and Garren took her down the wooden steps into the ward. At the base of the stairs, however, Derica removed herself from his protective grasp.
“I do not believe I am in any danger now,” she said crisply. “In fact, I believe I can make it back into the hall and up to my chamber without any horrors befalling me. But I thank you for your concern.”
Garren didn’t know what to say. Her manner was abrupt and he knew it was because of his behavior. Warm one minute, cold the next. He wished he could explain the reasons for his actions, but he truthfully wasn’t sure he fully understood them himself. He just looked at her and Derica began to suspect he was never going to reply. Gathered her skirts, she turned to the stairs. Garren continued to stare after her, her name on the tip of his tongue, knowing he should let her go but unable to.
“Derica,” he called softly.
She paused, her manner stiff. “What is it?”
What is it?Garren felt a strange pressure in his chest, tight, as if he couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t be truthful and tell her what it was. He felt himself weakening again and wondered, if this time, there would be no point of return.
“I am sorry if I have been rude to you,” he said.
“I am sure I do not know what you mean, Sir Garren. Good eve to you.”
She turned up the stairs again but he stopped her. When she turned this time, he appeared a few steps below her. He had mounted the stairs and she had never heard him. The expression on his face was surprisingly unguarded.
“You must understand something,” his voice was low. “How I behave with you privately and how I behave with you in front of your family are two different matters altogether.”
She almost did not want to be drawn into this line of conversation, so deep was her insult and confusion. But a large part of her needed to know why he had been so nice to her then had changed as abruptly as day to night.
“Why?” she demanded softly.
“Because if they see that I am kind to you, interested even, then it will suggest weakness. And right now, your family is putting me to a test of strength. I must not fail that test. Can you comprehend that, in any manner?”
She did, somewhat. Her father and uncles and brothers were a group marred by male shortcomings. Another male into the fold only fueled their fires. Garren was doing what he had to do in order not to be trampled by them.
Her hurt was easing. “But you were…,” she tried to find the right words. “In front of Aglette, you acted as if I had done something to offend you. Only the evening before, you had been warm and kind in my chamber, yet when I saw you in the bailey, you were….”
He put his hand up to silence her. “I know,” he said softly. “But your servant could also be a witness for your family. Were they to ask her, she could say that she saw me demonstrate kindness toward you, something that could, again, be perceived as weakness. I want nothing to be used against me.”
“Aglette is not a servant. She is my friend, and loyal to the death.”
“My apologies, then. But I could not make that assumption.”
She wondered if she should believe him or not. “So what you are telling me, in essence, is that in public you cannot show me any kindness so long as my family is around? Only when we are alone, is that it?”
“While your family still gnashes their teeth every time they see me, I am not sure there is any other alternative.”
“Are you so concerned they would think you weak that you would rather have me think you a cad?”
“No,” he shook his head slowly. “But I pray you understand my reasoning.”
“But those things you said in the hall, how you have no need or interest in marrying me. Is that true?”
