“Nay,” she gasped. “I shall not let go. If I do, I will wake up and this all will have been a dream. Let me dream a little longer.”
Sean gave in to her request and held her tightly. For the first time in his life, he turned himself over completely to theweakness of emotion, closing his eyes and feeling the tears course down his cheeks. He’d never truly allowed himself such a lack of control. It was the most magnificent moment of his life.
“It is no dream, sweetling,” he murmured into her hair. “I told you I would come for you no matter what. I am sorry it has taken me so long to live up to my promise.”
Sheridan had a death grip on him. “You survived.”
“I survived.”
“I do not believe it.”
He laughed softly. “Believe it. It is the truth.”
She suddenly pulled her face from the crook of his neck, her luminous blue eyes glistening with tears of joy. She was weeping again, but this time from disbelief and jubilation. She ran her fingers across his wet cheeks, then his lips, and he kissed them tenderly. But it wasn’t enough; he pushed past her fingers and latched on to her mouth. He kissed her with something more powerful than joy or passion; it was love in its purest form.
“My God,” Sheridan breathed as his mouth left her lips and moved over her face. “Father Simon told me not to give up hope.”
Sean inhaled her scent deeply; there were times when he never thought he would smell it again. Tears were still in his eyes as he kissed her neck, her cheek.
“I am so sorry to have caused you such torment,” he murmured. “To ask for forgiveness seems wholly insufficient.”
She shook her head, touching his face as if still convincing herself that he was real.
“There is nothing to forgive,” she insisted softly. “I told everyone that I would not believe you had died unless they provided me with proof. Until I had your dead body within my grasp, there was still hope. I never let it die.”
He smiled faintly, kissing her again just because he could. “I never let it die, either.”
As she gazed back at him, her expression suddenly turned wistful. “Tell me what happened after I left you. Why did you not send me word before now?”
He sighed, shifting so that she was more comfortable. But it only managed to bump her belly against him and he looked down at her swollen midsection, putting his hand reverently against her stomach. He seemed to lose his composure again as the tears welled once more.
“A baby,” he said, caressing her rounded belly. “Guy told me. I could not have imagined such a blessing. ’Tis a miracle.”
She smiled weakly, watching his awe-struck expression. “The physic says that he believes it to be twins.”
Sean’s eyebrows flew up. “Twins?” he repeated, awed. “Sweet Jesus, is he sure?”
“He seems to be.”
“Do you feel all right?”
She laughed joyously. “Now that you are in my arms, I feel wonderful,” she sobered. “Please tell me what happened after we parted at the Tower.”
He continued to rub her belly, distracted by the surprise of her pregnancy and struggling to focus on her question.
“The Marshall took me from the Tower to a manor he owns in north London,” he replied softly, looking up from her belly and focusing on her face. “I lost consciousness at some point very soon after you fled with Guy and Father Simon. I do not remember anything until waking up almost a week later. For a very long time, I lingered near death. Gilby thought I was dead many times over but somehow I always managed to prove him wrong. When I had been infirm for about a month, a nasty infection set in and I was incapacitated for almost two months. Gilby never left my side, doing everything he could to be rid of the infection. But my body was so weak by that point that he could not rid me of it entirely. It kept coming back.”
Sheridan listened with tremendous sympathy, kissing his hand, his cheek, as he spoke. “My poor Sean,” she murmured. “But I am so thankful that you did indeed survive.”
He wriggled his eyebrows wearily. “It was a long road, believe me.”
“But why did Gilby not send word to me? I would have come to be with you during your illness.”
He looked at her sheepishly; now came the meat of his confession. “I would not let him,” he told her. “I was convinced that I was going to die and I did not want him to notify you that I had survived my initial injury only to receive word that some random poison had just as quickly claimed my life. It was selfish of me, I know, but I did not want to put you through that hell. Better that you believed I died on that fateful night than suffer emotional highs and lows of health issues that seemingly had no end.”
She sighed faintly, understanding his reasons but distressed by them nonetheless. “I love you, Sean,” she insisted softly. “I was my right to know.”
“I realize that. But I suppose in my own mind I was trying to protect you.”
