I snort my disbelief. Her blank stare up at the ceiling indicates a film playing behind those eyes, and not a happy one. I’ve seen it on the soldiers. A familiar smell, a noise, sometimes nothing, and they are transported back to the field, reliving whatever horrible event has nestled into their subconscious. They live in a state of constant anxiety, as if they could be yanked back in time at any moment.
“Did you sleep well?” I ask another question, and anticipate another lie.
“Well enough. The medication makes me drowsy, though I did wake up through the night.”
“Oh, did I wake you? I sleep restlessly.” Derek pointed out on more than one occasion that I am a “blanket hog” and frequently kicked him in his sleep.
“Not at all. You slept quite soundly, actually.” She pauses. “You snore, did you know that?”
“Pardon me?”
“You snore. Not how Mason snores, like he’s sawing wood in his sleep, but this soft, rumbling wheeze through your nose.” The self-satisfied smile on her face is enough to make me pout in indignation. “It’s not loud, but rhythmic. I didn’t mind. It was cute.”
With an embarrassed scowl, I turn my attention to the window. “It’s snowing.”
Taylor peers over. “So it is. You like snow?”
“Yes.” I lay my head back down on her pillow. “Do you?”
“I like how it quiets the world.”
Taking that as a subtle hint, I close my eyes and return my head to her shoulder. What a strange kind of solace to find here, amidst the death and destruction. Yet, somehow, we are safe. For the time being.
“Delilah told me you flourished here in Lansing. She said you have been providing assistance to the soldiers regarding their mental health.”
“I don’t mind talking to people. And it’s not as if I’m unprepared to be someone’s secretary. I was prepping to run a region, I am capable of assisting the slapdash operation we set up.”
Taylor lolls her head to the side, her face only a few breaths from mine. “I apologize for your demotion.”
“You know, just because I’m glad you’re alive doesn’t mean you’re not a brat,” I shoot back. Taylor smirks and her eyes flutter closed, while my brain perks up. “Wait, when did Delilah tell you that?”
“This morning,” she says, like this should be obvious.
I look down between us—but there is no “between us” because I’m snug against her side, wrapped around her like red on a candy cane. “In here?”
Taylor shifts her arms. “Where would I go?”
“Oh. So, she saw that, like, I’m in the bed. With you.” My face heats up. “Sleeping in the bed. With you.”
“I told her I could not fend off your advances as you foisted yourself upon me.” When I raise my head to cast a wide, incredulous glance at her, she’s already got a smile on her face. “She did not ask, and I did not offer. Delilah is nothing if not discreet, not that there was anything to be discreet about.”
“Well, you did wake up cuddled next to your abductee. Imagine if the newswire got ahold of that information? MissingRegion Leader’s Daughter Caught In Bed With Prolific Order Assassin,” I mock, desperately trying to stave off my lingering embarrassment. “Papa would fall down dead.”
“Only because you make everything sound like a scandal.”
“It’s my gift.”
Taylor sighs and pats my hand. “Thank you for staying with me last night. And for all you’ve done in my absence.”
The gesture directs me to her arm. Although there’s no bullet hole in this one, there are pink strips of flesh raised on her skin, spiraling from mid-biceps to her wrist. “What happened?”
Rolling her eyes while the straw occupies her mouth, she takes her time sipping the water. “I know you have been helping the soldiers with their therapy. That is wonderful, but I am not them.”
I sit cross-legged on the mattress and face her. “I’m not asking you to tell me how you feel. I am asking what happened because I care and because I am your friend.” She doesn’t look convinced. I try a more practical approach. “I am also part of this operation, and if you don’t tell me, Delilah will. So, I will let you decide how I come upon this information.”
A stronger Taylor probably would’ve objected. But this is a much more pliable Taylor, for better or worse. “You know, just because I’m glad you’re alive doesn’t mean you’re not a brat.” Taylor smirks at her own joke, but it drops from her lips when I persist in staring at her. “I knew they were going to bomb it. I couldn’t…They pinpointed our location and started dropping bombs. I stayed to evacuate civilians. That is how this happened. I heard children. I heard screaming. I knew the risk, but I could not leave without at least trying to salvage lives. The building collapsed around us. I was fortunate to escape with my life.”
“And the lives of others.”
