Charlotte shook her head as she walked closer to Sutton, coming to stand only a few inches away from her. If she wouldn’t approach Charlotte, then Charlotte would close the gap. It was hard not to, when Sutton said things like that to her.
“Don’t apologize,” she was quick to say. “I… I’d have liked that tour then. I was just too…” She struggled to find the right words to describe her past self.
Too invested and therefore too scared? The explanation felt far too long, yet not long enough. She had no idea how to explain her past actions, not when she cursed her past self and pitied her, all at once.
But Sutton dropped her hand from her forehead, holding it out in front of her and stopping Charlotte from saying anything else. “Please, don’t. It’s… it doesn’t matter now.” She opened her eyes again, locking onto Charlotte’s as she gestured back down the hallway. “We should get back to the party. I’m sure you want to?—”
“I don’t want to mingle,” she cut in. “I don’t want to network. I don’t want to talk to anyone in this home more than I want to talk to you. I don’t want to talk toanyonemore than I want to talk to you, period.”
Sutton’s mouth fell open on a trembling exhale before she seemed to catch herself. “I… Charlotte, we should?—”
“Darling. What is going on?” she implored, the pleading edge in her voice undeniable, taking up so much space inside of her.
Sutton shook her head, wrapping her arms around herself and physically closing herself off from Charlotte. “I wasn’t—I didn’t plan on you being here tonight. We have plans for our next meeting next week, and?—”
Whatwas Sutton even talking about?
“Sutton,” she said, swift but soft. “What are you talking about? Does itbotheryou that I’m here?”
“No… yes—I don’tknow. Yes.” Sutton shrugged her shoulders up before heavily dropping them down.
That was all Charlotte needed to confirm the worst of her feelings over the last few days. Now desperation clawed at her. “What does that mean? What did I do? Please, Sutton, just tell me.”
Charlotte was absolutely not a dating expert, but she was a fantastic learner. She just needed toknowwhat she was doing wrong, and then she could fix it.
“Nothing!” The word seemed to explode out of Sutton before she could catch herself. When she did, she rolled her lips in tightly, as if she could take them back. She tightly closed her eyes as she reached behind herself and pulled the door to the den closed.
Despite the nerves and confusion and desperation, Charlotte felt comforted by that; at least they would have this conversation.
“You haven’t done anything wrong, Charlotte. That’s—don’t you remember Christmas? That’s the problem.” The utter distress coloring Sutton’s voice, bleeding into the look in her eyes, distressed Charlotte as well.
Nearly as much as it baffled her.
“What does that even mean?” she begged to know. “If you feel that way, why do you say it like it’s a bad thing? Why aren’t you happy to see me tonight?”
God, she needed to know. She needed it more than she’d ever needed to know anything else in her fucking life.
“Because I don’t want to have this conversation tonight while dozens of people, including my entire family and my daughter, are around.” Sutton’s words were both pleading and final.
And utterly chilling.
“Have what conversation?” Charlotte asked, trying very, very hard to not jump to any conclusions.
Sutton sighed, closing her eyes and bowing her head for several seconds. Seeming to gather herself, she looked back up at Charlotte. “I think…” Sutton snapped her jaw closed, the muscle in her jaw jumping as she clearly pushed herself to finish. “We are getting to the end of our collaboration on the book. And whatever we have between us should taper off, too.”
The words struck Charlotte like a blow, and she stumbled back a step as she stared at Sutton. Hurt and confusion and— “What do you mean?”
Sutton stared at her so resolutely that it was terrifying. “Charlotte, it’s the natural course ofthis.” She gestured between them, and for some reason, she said the words like they were a foregone conclusion.
Everything inside of Charlotte immediately, vehemently disagreed. “I don’t want that. We haven’t spoken about exactly what we’re doing here, but—” She had to take a moment, try to slow the stampeding thrum of her heart. “I don’t want this to slow down. I don’t want it to taper off.” God, those words made her feel sick to her stomach. “If anything, I want more. I want us?—”
Sutton shook her head, decisively cutting Charlotte off. “No. That’s not—wecan’t.”
For a moment, she could onlystareat Sutton. She’d been confused about whatever was going on between them, but she genuinely hadn’t believed tonight was going to come to this.
“Why?” It was all she could force out through the tightness in her throat.
“For several reasons,” Sutton shot back, her cheeks flushed and her breathing heavy. She didn’t look like she was enjoying this conversation either, and Charlotte was just so—so…
