I wrap my other hand around the base of Jack, holding him like a Louisville Slugger. “Σιγ?,” I spit, the Greek sliding off my tongue like venom. “Ε?σαι μια μικρ? πουτ?να.”
Please... you’re just a little bitch.
And he really is. Who attacks poor, harmless me? I was just strolling along, minding my own business.
Thwack. Thinking about kidnapping my lover.
Thwack. And this... this...fuckerjust had to go and ruin the moment.
Thwack. Who even does that?
Again and again, I swing Jack the Dripper, landing blows wherever I can. But my strength is fading. My leg drags like dead weight, making me stumble, and my stomach churns with adrenaline and pain.
Jack lands hits everywhere. I’m pretty sure the silicone even found its way into his mouth once or twice. Occupational hazard, I guess. My useless leg gives out again, and I lose my balance.
The man manages to land a few more hits that I’ll be feeling later, before a voice hollers from the end of the alleyway. “Hey! Hey! What’s going on here?”
The attacker punches me one last time, splitting my lip, and spits at me. “Stay away from him. They won’t warn you again.”
Then he shoves me, hard. My head cracks against the brick, and the world tilts and blurs. He bolts toward the figure at the mouth of the alley. I try to shout, but my body has filed a formal complaint and stopped cooperating.
Jack and I put in a lot of work today.
I slump down the wall, cradling Jack in my lap like a fallen comrade. I pat his pink head. “You did good work, buddy. As always.”
My vision goes hazy, the white at the edges getting bigger.
My phone. Where is it? I need to call Tomcat. He’s going to be furious. Honestly, if I’d just stuffed him in the bag from the start, he’d already be here. Problem solved. I really need to plan better.
I pat my hand over my pants, searching for the familiar rectangle of my phone. Something wet and warm touches my fingers.
“Oh. Gross,” I mutter, lifting my hand to inspect what I’ve touched. The alley’s dim, but… oh, sweet hell. That’s a lot of red.
A beautiful, musical voice calls my name. I blink, trying to focus on the figure above me. The princess. I squint at her, attempting to look fierce while sitting in a puddle of blood. “I swear, Snow, if you tell the guys I went down over a leg scratch, I’ll bite your ear off. I mean it. I don’t think there’s ever been a fairytale princess with just one ear, but I’ll make you the first. Promise.” I brandish Jack the Dripper like a royal scepter. “I’m a baddie secret weiner ninja. Got it? Oh, and if I pass out, tell those idiots I want a taco. No,fourtacos. I’ve earned the calories.” I glance down at Jack, my hero. “He deserves a cape or something. Total champion tonight. I’m telling Tomcat he needs a place of honor.”
“Umm, Marigold? I’ve called them, okay? They're coming. Can I check your leg now?”
I shrug, my head stuffed with cotton candy. “I could’ve sworn that limp-dick wanker just punched me. But he definitely had a knife, right?”
Snow holds up a wicked, serrated thing that looks way too serious for this conversation. “Yeah, he dropped it when you were beating him with your... dildo,” she says, a short, breathless laugh escaping her.
“Ooh,” I say, wiggling my fingers for it. “That’s pretty. So shiny. Can I keep it?”
My vision fuzzes out again. I shake my head, trying to clear the fog, but it only thickens, ignoring my protests.
"Hey." I look at her. "Pretty, pretty Snow. Do you have any water? I'm really thirsty."
“No,” she says softly, her voice trembling as she squeezes my hand. “Not much longer and they’ll be here. Stay with me.”
Huh. When did she grab my hand? Her skin feels so warm compared to mine.
“Come on, Mari. Stay with me. You’re losing a lot of blood.”
My eyes blur, and I let my head fall back against the cold brick. There’s a pulsing pressure on my leg. “I’m not losing it, Snow. It’s right there on the ground. Just misplaced. We’ll need a mop. A big one.”
She says something, but the ringing in my ears drowns her out. The world spins, slow and sickening, like a carousel ride gone wrong. I clutch Jack tighter. He’s the only thing that feels solid right now.
“I want off the merry-go-round now,” I mutter just as everything goes black.
