And I threw it away for a stupid rule I’ve been living by for far too long.
“Oh, you’re all right. I’ve got this. Let me help you, you poor boy.”
And she does. She helps me so much, in fact, that I end up sobbing in my car once more, unsure of what to do with such kindness from a stranger.
She even gave me a discount on it all.
Through wet eyes, I drive toward Wolverston with several cheeses, jams, and honey in a pretty basket.
Oh fuck, I hope he likes it. He has to like it.
Twenty minutes later, my car bumps down the gravel road to his house, and it’s then that I see his truck and an SUV parked outside. My eyes swivel to the windows, and I see the lights on inside.
This is where I spent an entire day, being fucked and cuddled and cared for.
This is a house that feels like home.
My heart is in my throat as I turn the engine off and grab the basket Eudora artfully arranged. It’s perfect, each item stacked so you can make out what it is.
My feet stumble up the stairs, and I ring the doorbell, listening as footsteps approach.
The door is wrenched open, and I see a handsome man standing in the doorway, tattoos on his arms and a piercing in his nose.
He cocks his head and stares at me.
I almost run away. Almost. This could be a lover, someone he’s fucking instead of me. He could have already moved on.
“I-I—” My words trail off, and I find it almost hard to breathe.
Hands grab the basket from me, and I lean against the railing, trying to take air into my lungs.
“Glenn, you have a hyperventilating dude on your porch with two different colored eyes.” The guy says, and then adds, “And he brought you cheese. Fuck yes!”
As my vision grows hazy, familiar hands find my hips, one running up my back. I guess I’m having a panic attack, something I haven’t had in a while.
Since I was with Vince, actually. I thought it was just him, his bad attitude, and negativity sending me over the edge every few days, but I think it’s stress.
The stress of not being wanted.
“Breathe,” I hear Glenn say, and I inhale shakily, my fingers curling against the wood of the porch rail, little bits of wood getting stuck under my nails.
“Breathe. Tell me what you see, what you hear, what you feel.”
My eyes sting, and I glance around, naming off the trees, the dirt, all the places Glenn and I were together. The way it felt with him inside of me sits heavily in the forefront of my mind.
And his touch makes my chest loosen and expand at the same time. I feel like I’m being stretched apart.
“I’m good. I’m good,” I finally wheeze, composing myself and standing up. I wobble slightly, and he grabs on to me gently.
“You okay?”
“Mhm.”
He doesn’t look so sure, so I straighten my shoulders and meet his gaze. Fuck, do not cry. Do not fucking cry.
“Sorry…sorry to have kept you from your date.”
“No date. That’s my brother.”
