He’s quiet for a moment, mulling that over, but then he sighs, “Yeah. Okay. I’ll let it go for now.”
I expect him to be angry with me, but instead, he just runs his palm down my arm and links his fingers with mine.
I don’t deserve it, but I take it. Greedily. Like a starving man.
We spend the rest of the day drifting from one exhibit to the next, my hand tucked into his. By the time we step outside, I’m feeling more relaxed. Like the message from my dad never happened.
I can at least pretend it didn’t.
We grab sandwiches from a beachside deli and walk out onto the sand. I can smell the salt of the ocean, can feel the damp air hitting my exposed skin. I don’t want to sit down on the sand without a blanket or chair, but I was brave earlier. I can be brave again.
And I’m rewarded for the effort because once my ass hits the dreaded sand, Caleb crawls between my legs. My hands go around his waist as we watch Sem, Luke, and Mal race into the water, shedding clothes as they go.
“They’re going to get arrested,” I say, wondering if they’re going to pull their boxers off as well and go completely nude.
I wouldn’t be surprised if they did.
Caleb laughs. “Told you people go to jail when they hang out with them. But nah, they’re keeping their boxers on. No public nudity. Not here. We do have standards.”
He looks windblown, cheeks flushed from the sun.
I can’t help but lean forward slightly and brush my lips against his temple.
“You can join them. If you want,” I say.
Caleb glances up at me. “I see what you’re doing, yeah? You want to watch me strip. Dive under a wave and walk out wet. Probably a fantasy of yours.”
I let out a huff. “I just don’t want to hold you back, Caleb.”
“Nah. You aren’t. I’m fine right here. With you.”
Those words sit with me, heavy and true. I can’t ignore them. Can’t pretend they don’t exist. This whole day is beyond what I ever could have imagined. I’ll remember this fondly.
The drive back is quiet, relaxed. Comfortable. Our fingers are twined, his body leaning toward mine.
When we arrive back at the apartment, I realize I’m tired from thesun, from the sand, from stretching myself. From pushing past the borders I’ve lived inside my whole life.
I’m exhausted, yet I’ve never felt more alive.
Caleb strips down as soon as we get inside the apartment, flopping backward onto the couch. He looks good, slightly sunburned, his hair wild and unruly, just like him.
I step between his outstretched legs and stare down at him.
“What?” he asks when he catches me staring.
I roll my lips between my teeth. Maybe it’s the exhaustion or pushing myself that has me blurting, “I like you.”
His grin widens. “Aw. I like you too, Whit.”
I swallow, stuffing my hands into my pockets. I need him to know this. I need him to realize.
“You…you force me out of my comfort zone in more ways than one.”
“Good.”
“I just…I’m gay.”
Caleb laughs gently. “I got that.”
