“Stay.”
“Nah,” he replies, but doesn’t move any further. Doesn’t escape even though he easily could.
“Let’s watch a movie,” I suggest, feeling desperate. “You pick. Anything.”
I tug him toward the couch, and I place the remote in his hand. I want him to crawl onto me, to tuck himself against my chest like he used to, but he doesn’t. He just sits across from me, not touching, not reaching.
I place my hands under my legs and face the television so I don’t do something he obviously doesn’t want.
“Why you sitting like that?” he asks after a beat, and I realize I am sitting like a statue. “Why do you look like you want to escape? You were the one who wanted me here.”
“I want to be here. I don’t want to escape. I’m just…nervous.”
His brows fly up, confused by my unexpected honesty. “Nervous?”
“Yes, because…I don’t know what I should do at this moment. I realize I’ve messed up, and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what you want. But being only roommates isn’t what I want.”
I can’t look at him when I say this, but I feel the air shift between us, thickening, waiting.
He’s silent for a long moment, and I nearly crawl out of my skin. I can’t wait any longer. I need to know.
“What do you want, Caleb? Tell me, please,” I plead, and I hear him swallow.
“Well, I have missed being held,” he finally says so honestly. It comes so easy for him. The truth, opening himself up to another. What would that be like? To be completely open and honest?
“Yes,” I whisper and then turn toward him and pull him against me. He comes easily until he’s lying right on top of me. My fingers automatically thread through his hair, tugging on the strands until he exhales against my chest. My other hand moves on instinct, sliding up under his shirt and touching his back. He’s warm, soft, perfect under my palm.
How could I ever have fooled myself into thinking he wasn’t my type?
“I missed this, too,” I let myself admit, and feel Caleb tuck his face into my neck.
He shivers slightly. “Thought you were annoyed with how clingy I am.”
“You’re not clingy.”
“I am. I warned you, though.”
“I don’t mind it.”
His fingers drag along my collarbone, and I feel my entire body relax and tighten beneath him.
“What else did you miss?” I ask.
“You fishing for answers?” he teases, a huff of a laugh caressing my skin.
I tug roughly on his hair, and Caleb sinks into me further, rubbing his nose against my earlobe. I can hear his desperate pants against me, and it’s doing things to me. Things I can’t even try to hide when he’s this close to me.
“I think I’ll keep some secrets,” he whispers.
I’ll let him. I have too many secrets. It’s only fair he has his own.
So, we just lie there in silence, my hands under his shirt, touching, exploring the heat of him. I feel the curve of his hip, the muscles in his back, the way they tense and relax against my palms. The room is silent except for our slow, deep breathing.
Suddenly, he pushes up and sits back on his heels. I stare at his ripped abdomen as he grabs both his flannel and shirt and pulls them over his head. Then he tosses them carelessly to the floor. My gaze follows the movement, then shifts back to him. His defined chest, that nipple ring.
Perfection.
My breath catches, and his eyes darken.
