Not yet.
So I struggle, trying to focus for hours before calling it quits and packing up my stuff.
Downhearted and a little crushed, I mistakenly answer a phone call from my father. His voice is brusque, angry, as he speaks in English with his thick Romanian accent.
This is absolutely not what I need right now.
“You haven’t answered the email like you said you would.”
I bite my tongue, feeling slightly off-kilter. “I’ve been busy with school.”
His voice trembles, and something inside me folds in on itself.
“You will give the correct response tonight, or I will speak with the school about your tuition.”
I know that it’s already paid for, but I bet he’d be able to reverse it. I swallow and nod, and when he shouts for me to answer him, I jump slightly, giving a clipped answer that I’ll do it tonight.
And I will. I can’t handle the way it’s been looming over me.
I can’t keep putting it off. I know if I don’t deal with this, they could pull me from where I am. They’d enroll me at a school near them so they can watch me more closely.
I’ve been playing fast and loose with fate.
I know I can’t get away with it much longer.
We hang up without even a goodbye, and I stand up, my limbs heavy, my eyes aching. I rub at them and then let out a long breath. I’ve made it through two decades of this. I can get through the next few months.
I slide my bag over my shoulder and head home.
It’s where I wanted to be anyway, but I just needed some space.
Caleb is right where I left him, sprawled out on the couch, a hand down his pants, the other up his shirt.
My heart thrums in my chest.
I set my satchel down and press a hand to his forehead, making sure that the flush on his face isn’t from a fever.
“I’m fine,” he grumbles, tilting his head slightly to watch me. When I don’t move my hand, he grunts. “I’m fine.”
I nod and slip my hand from his skin.
“How was your thing?”
“Fine.”
“Who did you meet up with?”
I wet my lips and lower myself into the chair next to the couch. The one we sat on—together.
“I’m part of the speech and debate club here. We have a tournament coming up soon, so I had to meet with my team to go over a few things.”
He glances over at me and bobs his head.
“You’re a smart dude.”
“At times,” I reply, moving my gaze to the TV. I don’t feel smart right now.
None of this was smart.
