His arm cradles me to him, and I rest my hand on his chest. The thumping of his heart brings me a certain peace, and I relax a fraction more.
“How did you get in here?”
“You’re my fiancé now,” I tell him, and he grips the nape of my neck.
“That so?”
If only. If only I could choose who I spent the rest of my life with.
He laughs softly. “You’ll have me married to you without me knowing it. Is that your plan, huh?”
“Would that be so bad?” I ask, my voice thick with emotion. I imagine it for a moment. Caleb and I, the life we could build together. A future where his hand finds mine in crowded rooms, where his smile is the first thing I look for each new day, where he falls asleep on top of me each night. A future where I’m allowed to want things…wanthim…without fear of the consequences.
He presses a kiss on the top of my head.
“Nah. I could manage it, I guess.” He yawns and then says, “I’m so sleepy. Stay with me, yeah? Don’t go back to your ex. I’m the better choice.”
“I won’t,” I say, my heart clenching in my chest. He is the better choice. He ismychoice.
But I don’t say that. Just hold it in as he dozes off.
I lie next to him, listening to his heartbeat against my ear, feeling his chest rise and fall with each breath.
“Sweet pea?” Del says, touching me gently, and I startle from my trance.
I didn’t even hear her walk up to me.
“How did you get in here?” she asks, her eyes full of sleep.
“He’s my fiancé,” I murmur, because this is the only time it can be true—with his family.
She blinks once, twice, and then her lips turn up into a smile.
“Well, that sure was quick, but I don’t blame you. He’s quite a catch.”
I glance down at Caleb sleeping and can’t help but agree. He will kill me when the pain meds wear off, and he finds himself saddled with me.
I will do the same to myself.
The way my body will bleed for this when it ends.
I should tell her I was joking, but I can’t find the words, so I just swallow instead.
“Come on, let’s grab something to eat. You must be starved.”
My stomach grumbles at the mention of food. How did she know?
I clutch at his hospital gown and whisper, “I shouldn’t leave him.”
“He’ll be out of it for a bit. He’s always loopy and sleepy when he’s on pain meds.”
“Don’t tell me this has happened before.”
Aunt Del rolls her eyes. “I have a to-go bag in my car for occasions such as this.” She gestures to her blanket, pillow, and tablet by her chair. “With reckless boys like these, you have to.”
I nod and then reluctantly slip out of bed and follow her down to the cafeteria. My body is abuzz with nerves, mainly from being in a hospital again, but also because I left him when he asked me to stay.
I feel like a liar and a thief.
