And that smile.
Hanging my head, I breathe deeply through my nose. This is getting a little ridiculous. I’ve never been so enamored with another person in my entire life. When I first met Caleb, I’d assumed he’d be a typical bigoted asshole, but he’s proven me wrong so many times. He’s so different from how I expected him to be. The way he lets me hold him, how he nuzzles my neck, how he begs for it.
I’m obsessed.
Usually, sex for me is transactional, something I do to relieve some of the tension building in me. It’s nothing personal, and I derive fleeting pleasure from it.
But with Caleb, I’m consumed by it. I give in to him much morethan I should, and if I allow myself to take…well, I’m pretty sure I’d be ravenous.
He’s becoming addictive, and we haven’t even fucked yet.
I pull my cock out of my pants and tug at it. It’s already painfully hard, and I find it easy to get off quickly, envisioning Caleb. Those thick, long legs stretched out in front of him, his cock hardening against his jeans, that backward hat he wears, that nipple ring, the way his scruff brushes against my cheeks when he kisses me.
His taste.
His moans.
His smell.
I gasp as I find my release, and as I try to gain control over my heartbeat, I quickly wash my hands and then look up and see my flushed cheeks in the mirror.
I need a minute or two before I reemerge into the bedroom I’m sharing with Magnus. He’s been watching me closely lately, asking me questions about Caleb.
I’m not quite sure what to say. Magnus was a good fuck, always eager, and took my cock well, but that was it for me. A transaction, like I said. Nothing more. I feel nothing for him.
Nothing like what I feel for Caleb.
I rub my chest, my heart thumping in it erratically.
I’m going to break him, yet I can’t stay away. I’m too damn selfish.
Inhaling deeply, I push out of the bathroom and nod to Magnus.
“Ready?” I ask, and he nods, following me silently to where we meet our teammates, Bev and Kate.
The debate goes well, and I’m proud of our accomplishments. And then it’s time for me to meet up with my ex.
Donovan Gray.
It doesn’t hold the same appeal it did months ago when we made plans. Now, it just feels like a shallow gesture.
I see him on stage, and he looks good, with immaculately combed hair, perfectly pressed trousers, and a button-up shirt. I remember a time when I preferred men like this.
Now my tastes run in a different direction entirely.
“Whit,” Donovan calls out, nodding at me. “So nice to see you. Well done up there.”
He holds out his hand, but I just nod at him, my hands clutched by my sides. I don’t want to touch him, even if it’s a harmless gesture. My mind flits to Caleb. How upset he was over this.
I don’t want to hurt him more than I inevitably will.
“You as well.”
His hand moves back, and he tucks it casually into his pocket. “Would you like to head out now? I have reservations at a place we can walk to.”
Being with him feels wrong, but I nod anyway, grabbing my coat and shrugging it over my shoulders. The two of us walk quietly out of the building, and when we exit into the cool fall air, Donovan glances over at me.
“You look good, Whit. Happy even.”
