I nodded. “Fine. But I can’t go to the zoo dressed like this.”
Ben dropped me at home and went to fetch Li. I walked into my bedroom and peeled off the clothes from last night and climbed into a bath. I was more nervous about spending a day with Ben and Li than I had been for our date the night before. It still hadn’t dawned on me entirely. Perhaps it was because I was still in so much shock, but Ben had a daughter—an actual living, breathing female human being. A small human girl child.
Ben was a package deal. Dating Ben meant inheriting a small person—a very cute one, mind you.But it also meant inheriting an ex-wife. Mei would always be in his life, whether I liked her or not, she would always be Li’s mother.
I started playing the movie in my head . . .the big one. If Ben and I ever got married, I would become a stepmother. JJ and Bruce would kind of inherit a step-grandchild—oh God, they would be beside themselves with hysterical excitement. Just imagine the costumes.This wasn’t just getting into a relationship with a guy I liked. And I did like him . . . maybe more than like. This was big.
“You missed your curfew last night!” I heard JJ call from outside the bathroom door.
“Sorry, Dad!” I joked.
“It’s too late for sorries, young lady. You’re grounded. No cell phone, no TV, no boys . . .” I heard JJ roar with laughter. “God, I’ve always wanted to say that! Thanks.”
“Pleasure,” I shouted through the door.
“Sooooooooo?” He dragged out the ‘o’ for added effect, and I knew exactly what he was asking about.
“No. We didn’t have sex,” I said, standing up and wrapping a towel around me.
“God, you have a filthy mind, that’s not what I wanted to know about.”
“Really?” I opened the door and eyed him suspiciously. “Then what do you want to know?”
JJ waltzed around my room for a while, I guess trying to drum up some dramatic theatrical beat before he dropped the question. Then he sat on my bed and crossed his legs. “Are you totally, madly in love with the guy yet?”
An instant bolt of heat rushed through me and scorched my cheeks. “Uh . . .” I reached up and touched them, no doubt they were as red as JJ’s lipstick. “Why does everyone keep asking me that?”
I grabbed a hand towel, flipped my head down and fastened it around my wet hair, trying to hide my schoolgirl flush.
“Who keeps asking that?”
“You and Ben. Ben keeps asking me if I’m in love with him yet. In fact, he thinks I am going to ‘confess my undying love to him tonight.’” I stuck my hands in the air and started gesturing wild air quotes. “I mean, have you ever? Have you ever heard of anything more presumptious, and egotistical and weird, I mean, who says stuff like that and it’s also totally ridiculous and—”
“So youaregoing to confess your undying love to him then?” JJ interrupted me and before I could think about it, the words came out.
“Probably.” I nodded and a massive smile swept across my face. “Yup. I’m in love with him. I’m in love with the weirdest man I’ve ever met!” I put my hands on my hips and shook my head while JJ laughed. “Am I mad? After everything he’s done, and the lies and the child and cheating and and and . . .”
JJ shot up and smiled at me mysteriously as he sashayed to my door and exited.
“What?” I shouted after him, “Aren’t you going to say anything?”
I stuck my head out the door and watched him swish down the passage—he never walked. “Seriously, the one time I actually need advice you aren’t going to dispense it?”
“You don’t need any advice. You already know exactly what to do, it’s written all over your face! It’s been written all over your face since that night in the car with him.”
“Really?” I reached up and touched my cheeks and smiled to myself. He was right. I did know what I wanted to do. I knew what I wanted, more than anything. And that was Ben. Ben and all the complications he came with.
I was totally in love with him. It had taken me by surprise and sneaked up on me when I wasn’t looking for it, but it had happened and I couldn’t wait to tell him.
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been to the zoo, certainly never with anyone as enthusiastic as Li. She ran ahead of us, skipping with excitement. She squealed and jumped as she watched the elephants getting fed and made funny faces at the playful monkeys swinging from the branches. She did aHappy Feetdance when she saw the penguins and when we finally got to the polar bears, she educated me about the nature of their fur.
“It’s not really white. It just ‘reflectionerates’ its ‘arroundings’,” she instructed—Who knew?Pretty impressive for a six-year-old, but I understood where it came from as each sentence was qualified with, “my daddy told me that.”
Ben nodded at me with a tiny smile. “True story that. It’s amazing how perfectly adaptable polar bears are,” he said, suddenly sounding like a cute science nerd.
The whole day felt soright. Something about the three of us just clicked, as if we’d known each other for ages. We all just fit.
As I watched Ben walking in front of me with Li bouncing happily on his shoulders, another realization dawned on me: this was what I’d always wanted. A sense of family. Togetherness. I wiped away a tiny tear as I watched father and daughter laughing together. They were eating cotton candy and a sticky piece had gotten stuck to Ben’s nose and Li giggled hysterically as she pulled it off. It was a true Hallmark moment. They were officially the front cover of a bestselling Father’s Day card. A cute video that would no doubt beat all the fluffy kittens playing with balls of string to go viral.
