“Go for it. See if I care.” I blasted it off.
“You do care.”
“Trust me, I don’t. And besides, what right do you have to be angry with me??!!!”
There was a long pause in the messages and I bit down on my nail in anticipation.Why did I feel this way?Why did I care so much, and dislike him so intensely all at the same time?
Knock. Knock.
I looked up in panic as I heard the knock on the front door. It was three in the morning, for God’s sake. I marched over to the door and opened it quickly knowing exactly who it was.
“What are you doing here?” I hiss-whispered.
“Not accepting your resignation.”
“You don’t have a choice,” I said.
“What job have you got?”
“None of your business.” I folded my arms.
“You’re one of my best people, I don’t want to lose you.” The fiery look in his eye and the tone of his voice changed. “You’re really good at what you do, Sera. Your internship is nearly over and you’re the one who’s getting the permanent job. And then you’ll be able to start growing a real career, and because you’ll be earning more, maybe you won’t need to work at the restaurant as much, you could finally get a good night’s sleep.”
“I’m getting the job?” I asked.
“You’re way better than Becks, and you’re a harder worker.”
I shook my head. “But don’t you see, Ben. I could never accept a promotion from you, now that everyone knows. They’ll all assume I got it because I fucked you.”
“Well, you didn’t. You got it because you’re good.”
“Everyone else won’t see it that way.”
“Let them think what they like about you.”
“No!” I looked up. “That’syourthing, not giving a fuck about what people think of you. All those mysterious rumors and urban legends about you. That is not me. I don’t want to be whispered about and gossiped about.”
“I give a fuck about what you think of me. I give a big fuck,” Ben quickly said.
I sighed and shook my head. “But that’s not the only reason, and you know that. With everything that’s happened between us, I can’t work for you anymore. You make me crazy. You make me irrational and insane and it’s not good. For either of us.”
“Insane is good.” Ben took a step closer to me.
“No! Insane is very, very bad,” I said.
“And bad can be very good too.”
“Oh stop it! Just stop it with all your weird contradictory little mysterious statements . . . love to hate you, fuck you or marry you. They are ridiculous. And make no sense whatsoever. You make no sense. We make no sense. And don’t say something like making no sense makes sense or some crap like that.”
Ben smiled at me, “There’s my fiery Sera.”
“My? I’m not yours, and besides, a few hours ago you were telling me what bad news you were and how I shouldn’t date you.”
“That is still totally true. I would kill a guy like me if my daughter brought him home.”
“Huh? You see, that makes no sense again.” I re-folded my arms as Ben took another presumptuous step forward.
“My life is fucked up and I’m totally imperfect. But I also think that we’re perfect for each other.” He took another step forward and I knew I had to stop this immediately.
