“Thank you. I’m fine.” And then a thought struck me. “Hey, what are you doing here anyway?”
“Following you of course,” he flashed me a cheeky, devilish grin.
“What!” I gasped, and then proceeded to cough a few more times; my throat was clearly not ready for dramatic gasping.
“Joking, Sera. In case you hadn’t noticed, this is the closest gas station to our office.”
I looked around. “Yeah, I suppose you’re right.”
“Well, I’m really glad I was here,” Ben said. He smiled at me again, but not like before. Not withthatsmile. The one that made you lose your wits, your clothes, your sense and your virginity, if you still had it. It was a warm, friendly smile now, which was completely strange and made me even more uncomfortable than histake-your-clothes-off-and-climb-under-mesmile. He was standing with his hands on his hips, and still looked totally ridiculous and utterly hot in that overly formal suit. He’d loosened the top button and tie now, so it had a slightly more casual look to it. The open button revealed a tiny bit of the chest tattoo that I’d run my tongue over 13 hours before.
“Well, thanks then.” I gave him a tiny appreciative smile and started walking back to my car before my whole face flushed red and I burst into tears from sheer humiliation.
ICBIJCIFOTHGOTPWAHTBMNBWIAHSW! (I can’t believe I just choked in front of the hottest guy on the planet who also happens to be my new boss who I also had sex with.)
7. A Panty Smuggler . . .
I’ve always loved collective nouns. A murder of crows, a business of ferrets, a mischief of mice. As I sat with JJ and Bruce, I wondered exactly what collective noun would apply:
A cackle of queens.
A gaggle of gays.
A hullabaloo of homosexuals.
To say they were screeching with laughter was an understatement. Bruce was currently bent over the couch squealing, broken up by fits of even higher pitched laughter. “He gave you the Heimlich maneuver?!”
And JJ . . . well, he was lying on the floor, tears running across his face, sobbing, “He’s a panty smuggler.”
It wasn’t pretty.
“It’s not funny, guys!” I said, slamming the dishwasher closed as if I was out to kill the thing. And just in case the dishwasher still wasn’t aware that I was totally pissed off, I punched a few extra buttons for added effect. Still, their laughter continued. They clung onto each other for support now, hooting and snorting like toddlers that had been given crack.
“It’s a pity you didn’t pass out cold so he could give you mouth-to-mouth,” Bruce added in between his huge guffaws.
“He’s a panty smuggler,” JJ repeated.At least Bruce had moved on somewhat.
“It’s not funny. This could seriously jeopardize my job,” I said, as I stomped through the lounge and threw myself onto the couch. “What if it’s really awkward working together, and then everyone finds out and he has to fire me?” A lump formed in my throat and I choked on the words slightly. Losing my job, especially now, would be the worst thing that could happen, especially for my sister. Her future would be over. I wouldn’t let that happen, not over my dead body.
JJ and Bruce finally stopped with the hysterics and looked over at me. “Babe, he’s not going to fire you,” Bruce said, coming to sit next to me. “He said so.” At least he was showing some compassion now.
JJ nodded. “No, he won’t, besides . . .” He put on his drag queen Miss Ginny Tonic voice now. “He’s inlurvewith you!” Both JJ and Bruceooohedwith childish excitement.
“I hate you guys right now,” I said, and shot them both a disapproving look. But of course I didn’t hate them. On the contrary, JJ and Bruce had saved me when I was at my most vulnerable—and by extension, they’d saved my sister, too. There was a thirty-year age difference between me and them, so I looked at them like father figures—my two weird adopted dads. And they certainly treated me like that, apart from the totally inappropriate father/daughter conversations like this one.
“You’re right, we’re being totally insensitive,” Bruce said.
JJ nodded. “We’re just jealous. I would have paid good money to have him come up from behind and give me the Heimlich maneuver.”
I laughed. “That’s because you’re a total ho!”
JJ cocked his head to the side and pouted his lips. “Um, look who’s talkingMiss-take-me-in-the-backseat-of-your-BMW.”
At the mere mention of it, I felt my blood pressure rise and I wondered if my face looked as hot as it suddenly felt. The answer soon became obvious when JJ asked, “That good, huh?”
I bit my lip and nodded.
“You dirty bitch.” Bruce nudged me playfully. “But seriously. I really think it will be okay. You made things clear and you’re a professional. I’m sure he’s reasonable and professional, too. Otherwise he wouldn’t have the job he has. It’s going to be okay.” Bruce put his arm around me.
