“That day you came to work upset, and I asked you what was wrong, you didn’t want to talk about it. Maybe I could’ve helped? Even if it was just to listen while you ranted?”
Now I was more convinced than ever that Ben had chatted to the guys. I didn’t like this, and I certainly didn’t need it from Ben too. But he continued . . .
“Sometimes you walk around with a dark cloud looming over your head. If you just let people in . . .” Ben said, trying to reach over and take my hand. I pulled it away quickly.
“Jesus. Did you and the guys have some kind of secret meeting? Did you all agree to give me shit about this at the same time? I came here thinking that we were going to have a perfect, romantic, amazing night together after the day we had, which was awesome, by the way. I certainly wasn’t expecting this. Now I just feel angry and all I want to do is shout when actually what I wanted to do was tell you that I love you and—”
I stopped myself—I said it—I hadn’t meant to say it like that. I’d had such different expectations for this moment and now it had come out clumped together in an angry rant.
“Could you repeat that last part?” Ben asked with a smile that practically lit up his whole face. “I’m not sure I heard it.”
I blushed at the thought of repeating myself. “I said I love you, okay. Whatever.” I shrugged, as if that would somehow make the statement seem more casual—it wasn’t. It was definitely one of the most “un-casual” things I’d ever said.
Ben leaned towards me with that dangerous twinkle in his eye. “Okay? Whatever?” he asked.
“No. Not whatever. Okay?” I chuckled at the absolute lameness of that sentence and tried again. “I’ve fallen in love with you, Ben. I’m in love with you.” I felt so vulnerable saying those words out loud.
Ben didn’t say a word; instead, he stood up and took me by the hand, pulled me to my feet and marched me down the corridor towards his bedroom.
61. Gangnam Style
Okay, we’d had sex before, so why the hell was this so damn nerve wracking?
I’ll tell you why.
It was because of that damn glint in those dreamy chocolate-brown eyes of his. That confident swagger he had and that assertive way he took me by the hand and marched me down the passage without hesitation. Without even looking back at me. Like I was his. It was in the way he got me into his bedroom, immediately took his top off, and tossed it to the other end of the room. His “devil may care” attitude was so ridiculously sexy—especially now. It was in the way he pointed for me to sit on his bed as he strode across the room, bent over and turned on the heater—how did he make turning on normal household appliances so damn crazy hot?
But then, it changed. Ben walked over to the bed, sat down next to me and everything changed. Suddenly things between us started feeling awkward.
“God,” he said as he ran his hands through his hair, “it’s stupid, but I don’t think I’ve ever been so nervous about anything in my entire life.”
I blushed. “Me too.”
“I feel like a teenage girl losing her virginity.”
I managed a small laugh. “It would be truly bizarre if you knew what that felt like.”
“Okay,” Ben said, jumping off the bed again, “let’s start over.” Then he exited the room and closed the door behind him. I looked at the door wondering what the hell he was about to do. Suddenly he burst through it and strode towards me. I burst out laughing because the action seemed so comical. Then he slid up next to me . . .
“Is this seat taken?” Those were the first words he’d spoken to me that night at the club. He said them in that same sexy, husky tone that had immediately caused me to go wobbly—it was having a similar effect on me right now. I played along.
“Depends who’s asking,” I said, turning to him. His face lit up when he realized what I was doing.
“The name’s Ben,” he said, then took my hand and kissed the back of it, maintaining intense eye contact. My hand tingled. “And you’re Sera,” he said. And then suddenly, as if a light bulb had been flicked on, I remembered something important about our first night together.
He’d known my name.
“How do you know my name, Ben?” I asked, still playing along in a sultry sexy voice.
Ben leaned in.
“I have a confession to make.”
“Mmm?”
“I’ve been watching you, Sera.”
He said it in a way I wasn’t sure was a joke. Was this role-play or—no, surely not?
