An encouraging smile spreads across his lips, making Barty look even more kindly than usual. With his overgrown white hair and thick white beard, he’s only missing a fur-edged red hat to be mistaken for a picture-perfect Santa. Appearances matter. And with his grandfatherly air and soft voice, people are naturally inclined to trust him.
“I’ll think about it,” he says. “But, right now, I’d really like to hear how you’re handling the passing of your wife.”
“You could say I am rather displeased.”
“That’s an interesting reaction. What’s causing this displeasure?”
I glance at my shrink. “I should have killed my darling spouse sooner.”
The pen slips from Barty’s hand and falls to the floor before rolling under his desk.
“Oh.” He stares at me like I’m the Ghost of Christmas Past. “I didn’t think you were behind that. Maybe you should have started with that little detail. Just so I’m clear.”
A corner of my lips lifts. This right here is the reason why I like Barty. He knows how to keep his shit together when I drop a bomb in his lap. I kinda have to, though. I mean, what would be the point of therapy if I can’t be honest? Bartholomew Shaw, however, is an absolute pro. Unflappable. Flexible. And can keep his mouth shut, beyond the usual doctor-patient bullshit. A rare gem in his profession. Then, there’s also the little matter of him owing me a life debt.
“So, tell me, Adriano, was there a particular reason for you to terminate your marriage so abruptly, and in such an…unconventional way?”
“Filippa hired a hitman to kill me.”
“I see. Your ‘displeasure’ with your delayed actions makes total sense now.” His bushy eyebrows pinch as he leans over to fish his pen from beneath the desk. “And that was the only reason?” he asks and resumes the twirling of the ballpoint through his fingers.
“Is it not enough?”
“For some people—perhaps. In your case, I’m not sure.”
“I have killed for lesser transgressions than this.”
“I’m aware of that. Still... I have a feeling there must’ve been more to it.”
“After her assassin failed, she resorted to doing it herself. Pointed a gun at my head.”
“Mm-hmm.” He presses the button of his pen, making it click. “And how is that different than her hiring a hitman to do it?”
I shrug. “Offing someone through a proxy is easy. It can be completed without much care or consideration. A check mark on a to-do list. Facing that person, however, while pointing a gun at them and then pulling the trigger, isn’t the same. Not even if it happens in the spur of the moment.”
“Obviously. And that makes her more guilty in your eyes?”
“Not per se. If Filippa wanted me dead because of her hatred, I would have no problem with accepting her actions, taking them for what they were. I would have put her silly lady gun back in her clutch and sent her on her way. But it was over money. Andthat…that I could not tolerate.”
“Right. Right. It hits too close to your experiences in Switzerland, something that—”
“We’re not discussing that again, Bartholomew.”
“Of course. Examining major events in your life is overrated. But it’s fine if you don’t want to share. We both know you come to see me only because you’re bored.”
I raise my eyebrows. “You are aware that I have a legitimate multibillion-dollar shipping and logistics company to run?”
“Bored and busy are not mutually exclusive. You can be both.”
“I would pay good money to see what your shrink buddies would say about that assessment.”
“And there lies the root of your problem.” He points the tip of his pen at me. “You have everything anyone could ever want. What you don’t have, you acquire. There isn’t a single thing in this world that’s out of reach for you.”
“You make it sound as if that is a bad thing.”
Barty’s leather office chair creaks as he leans back, rocking a bit in his seat. He always does that when he prepares to deliver one of his great insights. “The state of happiness often relies on the thrill of the chase, be it in achieving a personal goal or a professional success, Adriano. The more something is deemed unattainable, the harder the person will work to beat the odds. The greater will they then enjoy the fruits of their labor, and feel the joy and fulfillment that accompanies that victory. When everything in their life is too easily obtained, there is no feeling of pleasure that follows.”
“Happiness is just a misery-free moment in an overly sad life, rationalized to make it seem like it is some great achievement. I prefer to live in reality.”
