"Release it," Alistair said. He said it the way he said things he'd arrived at: with the flatness of a completed decision. "I know what I want. I want to release it."
"Because of Elias."
"Because of Elias. And because of the next pair. And the one after that. And everyone Cain has used in the name of what he calls research." He turned to Tav. "But it puts you at risk."
"We're already at permanent risk," Tav said.
"More risk."
"Yes." Tav watched the street ahead. "Is that something I can accept?" "Yes. Is it a risk I'd choose to take without the rest of it — without you, without what we decided, without—" He stopped.
"Without?" Alistair said.
"Without knowing what the alternative costs," Tav said. "Continuing. Another pair placed. Another Elias. Another Lucien spending five years in silence." He looked at Alistair. "That's a risk I'd choose to take."
Alistair looked at him.
They walked.
The rain. The streets. The city doing its midnight work.
"I need to tell you something," Alistair said.
"Tell me."
"About why I waited to tell you about Lucien." He studied the pavement. "It wasn't only about protecting you. It was—" He stopped. "I was afraid that if I told you on day one, you'd report it to Ablation and the placement would be dissolved and I would never find out what this was." He studied Tav directly. "I was protecting myself. Protecting the possibility of this before it was a thing, and protecting the hope that my brother was alive."
"I know," Tav said.
"You've known."
"Yes."
"And you don't—"
"No," Tav said. "I don't." He held his gaze. "I would have stayed regardless. The placement would have continued. Ablation's calculation would have been the same." "You didn't need to conceal it."
Alistair watched him.
"I thought you'd leave," he said quietly.
"I don't leave," Tav said.
The rain continued its patient work.
"I know that now," Alistair said.
They walked the remaining distance to the apartment in a different quiet from the one they'd left the warehouse in — not the processing quiet, but the settled quiet of two people who had said the things that needed saying and found that the things were manageable. At the building entrance, Alistair stopped.
He turned.
He looked at Tav with the amber eyes in the rain.
"Lucien gave us the drive," he said. "The decision about what to do with it is ours."
"Yes," Tav said.
"Together."
