“Okay, let’s not talk about the depressing things. Instead, tell me all the dirty stuff that’s going on between you and LoneStar,” she says, batting her eyelashes at me.
“You’re a nut,” I say, snorting.
“That’s old news, Britt,” she replies. “You know I have to live vicariously through you so don’t leave me lingering here, tell me-tell me-tell me,” she begs, stringing her words together. “Please.”
The first smile of the morning crosses my face as I think of the small touches that mean everything to me. The tingling brush of his fingers against mine, the way he grazes his lips across my skin, the way he always has a hand on me if we’re in the same room as each other—tucked on the lower half of my back,wrapped around my waist as if I’m precious, that’s everything I’ve never had and never knew I wanted until he entered my life.
“He makes me want to stay,” I say, admitting the biggest thing in my opinion.
“And are you? Are you going to stay, Britton?” she asks.
“Yes, Jersey. I’m going to stay.”
She twists until she’s facing me head on and asks, “Do you love him? Is he your future?”
I place my shaky hand on my belly and reply, “Yes. He and this little one, they are my future, my family, the owners of my heart and soul.”
“Have you told him that?”
“What is this, an interrogation?” I tease.
“No, this is someone who cares about you and wants you to have everything you deserve asking meaningful questions,” she implores.
My mouth gapes open like a fish out of water, I don’t know the right thing to say in response. I’m not used to opening up and peeling scabs off old wounds. I don’t like feeling vulnerable and unable to control the things taking place in my life.
“I’m scared, Jersey. What if I tell him I love him and he doesn’t say it back? What if it makes him leave?”
“Darlin’,” Tanner’s voice breaks the silence and has both Jersey and I jerking on the bed. “Would it help if I told you how I feel first?”
Jersey leans over and whispers, “That’s my cue to leave. Love you, sis. Be brave, you’ve got this.” She pats my knee, gives Tanner a smile, and exits posthaste.
“Answer the question, beautiful. If I were to tell you I love you first, would that help you open up and tell me how you feel about me?”
“Yes. No. Yes. Fuck, I don’t know, Tanner. I’ve never had to say those words out loud. What if I want to say yes but no comes out of my mouth? Or worse, nothing comes out because I get tongue tied. When I said I was scared, I meant it.”
“Britt, I may have a solution but you have to be willing to try. What if I ask you a few questions and you nod your head yes or no? We’ll slowly eat away at those pesky feelings you’ve got and help you face those fears one small step at a time.” My lips quirk at his pesky comment, it’s those descriptive words he uses that seem to break the ice encapsulating my heart every single time.
“Okay, let’s try that,” I plead.
“First of all, I want to say this. I love you, Britton. I’ve loved you since the moment our eyes met across that field. I love your sass, your wit, and most of all, I love the way you banter with me without taking anything personally. You are my perfect match.” He grips my chin with his fingers and tilts my head up. I hadn’t realized I’d buried my face in his chest when he declared his feelings. I wasn’t trying to hide, I was trying to absorb them. “So now, I’m gonna ask you, baby girl. Do you love me?”
My head emphatically nods as a whisper escapes my lips, “Yes.”
“Good girl,” he praises as he wraps his hand around my neck and draws his lips to mine. “I’m gonna kiss you now. Nod your headyes if you’re good with that.” I do, lord knows I do, I nod, and nod, and nod as tears leak down my cheeks.
He has the most amazing grin on his face as he lowers his lips above mine where they hover for a few moments before crashing them to mine. As our tongues duel, I have the most glorious premonition. I’ve found my home. This is what I’ve needed, what I’ve longed for, what I deserve. And Tanner, he’s the one who has helped me realize that I deserve something good, something special, something profound. Every bad thing that’s ever happened to me was worth it because it led me here, to him, to LoneStar, to Tanner, to mine. No matter what face he’s wearing, he belongs to me and I accept him, warts and all.
When we pull apart to add some much-needed oxygen in our lungs, I finally feel something I’ve never felt before—I feel free, alive, and ready to face the world. I don’t want to hide anymore, I want to expose myself because at the end of the day, I know he’ll catch me.
CHAPTER
TWENTY-FIVE
LoneStar
We leftProfessor Stratton on ice after hours of interrogating him. I was so exhausted I was dragging my feet as I headed up the stairs to my room so I could crawl into bed and catch a few hours of shut-eye before we meet later on this afternoon. Nothing worked to get the fucker to crack so we need to come up with a different approach.
We made threats, many of them to his person, career, and reputation. Nothing we said or did phased him in the least. I already knew he was jacked in the head, but I didn’t realize it was to that extent. I’ve never seen one of Icer and Shade’s interrogations end with a prisoner reenacting ‘The Joker’ laugh, but he has it down to a science. Not gonna lie, it was freaky as hell to hear, it had most of us leaving the tomb with a confused look on our faces.
