As I drove, I felt almost drunk, though I’d only ordered one drink and had only a couple sips.
The muscles in my arms contracted as I remembered holding him.
As soon as I got home, I collapsed on my couch clutching one of my pillows. I was trying to repeat the experience. Or hang onto it. Or both.
I kicked off my shoes and fell back into the cushions.
“Sage.” I spoke his name aloud, hugging the couch pillow.
I stared at the ceiling until my eyes closed. Behind my eyelids, I saw his face, so young, so sweet. Maybe our age gapwas too much. Maybe we’d have nothing in common but laps and hugs. Weirdly, I didn’t care. I only wanted to experience it again.
Right now, he could be looking at my business card and thinking about me. But darker thoughts clouded that happy image. Maybe he wasn’t looking for someone. Maybe that was why he was so shy. And alone.
By the time I went to bed later that night, my body was pent up. I took a long hot shower trying to unwind. I came once.
When I finally slept, I dreamed of his sweet face and big blue eyes all night.
5
Sage
When I drove home, everything seemed so dark. There was no moon. The city lights seemed distant.
I pulled up to my one room apartment on campus and hurried inside. As soon as I got in and locked the door, I flopped onto my bed and pulled out Preston’s business card.
It was gold edged with black lettering on off white. It was matte and very proper-looking.
Preston Maddox
Attorney at Law
Below that insmaller fonts were his email and phone number. I realized I was holding my breath as I read it through five times, my lips moving but no air coming out.
Finally, I kicked my legs up from my bed and said to the air, “It doesn’t sayDaddy.”
For a few seconds, I pouted. But of course, it wouldn’t say that. He wouldn’t have business cards for being a daddy or anything really personal like that.
I leaned back, flicking the card with my fingers. What had actually happened tonight? I felt—I felt amazing. And yet it seemed like not much had happened. I hadn’t had sex. A man had held me. A man in a suit. A man named Preston. That was it.
But the afterglow was real.
I needed to bask for a while, then let it go. My luck wasn’t good enough to think he might be different from the others.
Later, I got a text from Very.
Did you have fun?Are you okay? I know you are sometimes a baby little, but I’ve hardly ever seen you that way.
I’m fine.
That’s it?Just fine? You clung to Preston for more than an hour.
He smelled good.
Doyou want to see him again?
I don’t know.
I knowyou’re not asking my opinion but I’ll say it. You should. Going to bed now. Daddy’s calling.
