“I would love that.” My response barely communicated my true feelings. I wanted to jump and yell in celebration that Daddy Preston wanted me back for tonight.
“I would love that, too, baby.” Preston’s smile revealed his white teeth. His eyes flickered.
I’d broughtnothing but my backpack with me to his house. In it was my laptop, my new stuffed toy from Daddy, and not much else but a few little toys I kept secret from others but liked to have with me wherever I went. A keychain with a plastic pink bunny. A little windup reindeer I’d bought two Christmases ago. A blue pacifier on a necklace chain which I had never ever worn.
When I was ready to leave, Daddy Preston walked me to the door.
“Promise to come back,” he said with a half-smile.
I took my backpack off the hook and opened it, pulling out the necklace. I held it up to Daddy.
“What’s this?”
“I’ve never worn it but it’s one of my favorite things. Keep it until I come back for it.”
Preston took the necklace from me, letting it dangle from his hand. “I’ll treasure it like it’s gold,” he replied.
“You don’t think it’s strange? Or funny?”
“No. Like you, it’s beautiful. I’ll keep it safe.”
“Thank you.” My eyes stung a little.
“No. Thankyou,” Preston said. He grabbed my sweater and handed it to me. “Don’t forget this.” Then he leaned down and put his hand, still holding the necklace, behind my head and pulled me in for a delicious kiss.
I didn’t remember driving home.
That afternoon, when I wasn’t studying or getting ready for work, I floated through my small apartment. Gravity had lessened. I was like a feather floating up in an air current, my head in the clouds.
At the pub, I had a lot of energy. This time I focused and mixed the drinks perfectly. I smiled and chatted with everyone. It brought in some great tips even though students tended to be stingy. But Saturday nights were the best to work here.
“You’re in a good mood,” Mateo said.
“Yeah, I guess so.”
“Not as distracted as yesterday.”
“Sorry about that.”
“It’s okay. Did you have fun last night?”
“Yeah.”
My mind wanted to come apart and fall into the memories and think about how after work tonight I’d be in my daddy’s arms again. Soon.
“Meet someone?”
“Maybe.”
“I want to hear all about him.”
I made a face at him. “Nosy much?”
“I get it. You don’t want to say anything to jinx it.”
He was strangely right. But also, a part of me wanted to keep Preston all to myself. I was being possessive. And yes, also defensive because what if? What if it didn’t turn out? What if Preston and I were only a fling? That scared me more than I could stand. Then I really wouldn’t want people to know. I’d be too sad. And maybe even embarrassed because I’d let myself fall so hard so fast.
What did psychology have to say about people like that? I could run down the list. Insecure. Needy. Obsessive. Prone to anxiety. Even unstable.
