“Youarehelping me. I’m safe for the first time in my life, and that’s worth more than any dollar amount,” I tell him.
“That’s the bare minimum of what you should have had all along,” he points out.
“But Ididn’thave it, and now I do, thanks to you.”
Talon nods, and I expect him to argue because I know he wants to do more for me, but instead, he shifts our position on the couch. Standing, he pulls his pants on, then sits back down so he’s leaning up against the armrest, and I’m between his legs with my back to his chest.
“What did you mean that was a first for you, too?” he asks, and I know I’m going to tell him.
Part of me is relieved. Part of me is terrified. What if it’s too much? What if Talon finally decides I’m not worth it right as we’re gettingsomewhere?
But when I open my mouth to speak, the fear wins, and my body begins trembling. I draw my legs up, planting my feet on the cushion, trying to become smaller and fold in on myself.
“Hey,” Talon whispers, his lips at my ear. “Hey, you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to. I’m not going anywhere. You’re safe here, and nothing you say will change that.” I feel his lips press to the back of my head, and I burrow deeper against him, pulling his arms more tightly around me.
“No, I need to. I mean, I want to. You should know. Especially if we’re…well, you should just have the whole picture,” I stammer.
Talon bends his knees, squeezing mine with his own as if he were a weighted blanket.
“I’ve got you,” he tells me. And I know it’s true.
“When I met Derek, I was homeless. My dad was never in the picture. I actually don’t even know who he is, and I had no idea where my mom was. She left the day I turned eighteen. Like, she somehow believed because she had stuck around that long, her job as a parent was done.” I huff a laugh. “Which is ironic since she never really played the part of a parent anyway. More likely, the government assistance checks she received for me were no longer coming, so she’d moved on.Anyway, the point is, I was on my own. Couldn’t make ends meet. Didn’t know how to pay bills. The electricity was shut off first, then the water. Then I got evicted. I’m not stupid, I just…no one ever taught me, you know?”
“Baby, I’ve never once thought you were stupid. You’re strong and brave and a survivor,” Talon says against my hair.
I’m reeling because he just called mebaby.NotButtercup.Notsweetcheeks.Justbaby.
I liked it.
A lot.
“Zeke, are you okay?”
Talon’s question makes me realize I’ve gone silent.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. You called me baby,” I point out in an attempt to explain.
“It just kind of slipped out. Do you not like the term? Did Derek…”
“No. No, he never called me that. His nicknames were far more condescending, designed to make me feel like the weaker party.”
“You arenotweak,” Talon says again, his tone this adamant this time.
“I know. I think I’ve always known that, which is part of the reason I was able to endure the violence. I’m sure that seems backwards, but I had to stay. I had nowhere else to go,” I explain, getting back on track. “I was living out of my car when Derek found me. It was the end of January, and freezing to death was a legitimate concern. He was charming, funny, and offered me a place to stay. I’djustgotten the job at Summit, and I knew I’d need a place to shower if I was going to keep it, so I agreed after only knowing him for five minutes. That should’ve been a red flag, but desperate times and all that. When we started negotiating rent and utilities, I told him I literally had nothing to my name, but would be happy to pay as soon as I started getting regular paychecks. He suggested something else.”
My stomach threatens to relieve itself of the steak and wine I had for dinner as I arrive at the part of the story that I’m most ashamed of. Getting knocked around makes Derek the weak one. Not me. But agreeing to prostitution? That’s not something I’m proud of.
“I’m still here,” Talon says behind me, though his voice is strained.
Swallowing hard, I continue.
“I only had to pay a quarter of the rent if I agreed to…” I cough, the words getting caught in my throat. “…to basically never tell him no. He wanted guaranteed consent and strict roles in return for putting a roof over my head.”
Talon tenses behind me.
“Fucking hell, I want to kill him,” he mutters.
“At the time, I was choosing between life and death. Giving my body to Derek was an easyyeswhen the alternative was freezing to death in a parking lot.”
