“Well?”
“How, um, how do you know you’re gay?” I ask, realizing the question sounds stupid. But maybe if he can shed some light on understanding it and processing it, I could do that, too.
“Well, the fact that I like to suck dick was a pretty dead giveaway,” he says without cracking a smile.
My teeth grind at the thought of Hanlon’s perfect lips wrapped around some bastard’s cock.Hedeserves to be the one lavished with all the attention.
“Maybe you could stopbeingone for a second and give me a serious answer,” I reply, my tone harsh from my previous thought.
“What do you want me to say here, Stone? I’ve thought girls were pretty, but never had a desire to touch them, kiss them, or grind myself against them like I do the hard body of a man. I like the lines and muscles a man has to offer. I like the deepness of a man’s voice. I like the feel of facial hair abrading my thi—” he trails off, his eyes glued to my beard as he clears his throat.
The look makes my cock thicken in my sweatpants.
“Go on,” I encourage, desperate to hear more.
“I think you get the point. Now tell me why you’re so interested,” he demands.
This is my last chance to turn back. To take the coward’s way out and keep my struggle to myself. But I don’t. Because I’ve known ever since the day I taught Hanlon Winchester how to ski that he was a lot stronger than I am, and I want to be more like him.
“I think I might be gay as well… or bi at least, or something not entirely straight, but I don’t really know because I don’t seem to find either sex attractive, but I guess I…” God, this is embarrassing. “I guess I pay more attention to guys than girls?”
Hanlon’s eyes go wide before they narrow in anger.
“Are you fucking with me right now?”
I recoil like he slapped me. “Do Ilooklike I’m fucking with you? Jesus, Hanlon, you’re the first person I’ve said the words out loud to, and you think it’s a joke?”
He winces as the realization that I’m serious slams into him.
Suddenly, he’s standing in front of me, grabbing me by the front of my shirt, hauling me into a hug.
“Shit, Stone. I’m really sorry, man. Talk about unexpected.”
With Hanlon’s arms around me, I feel like I can finally draw a deep breath. His chest expands against mine, and I use his breaths to regulate my own; which is fucking ironic.
It isn’t until I’m breathing him in that I realize how much I miss home.
“Do Lana and Dad know…about you?” I ask Hanlon, suddenly in need of any answers he can give me.
“Yes.”
That knowledge stings.
“So, I’m the only one who didn’t know,” I say unnecessarily.
Hanlon pulls back to study my face and guides me back to the couch.
“How was that conversation supposed to go, Stone?Hey man. I know we haven’t talked much in the last several years, but I just wanted to call and give you the update that I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that I’m into guys.”
I shove my shoulder playfully into his.
“Okay, asshole. I get it.”
Turning serious, Hanlon says, “But you said you think youmightbe gay, not that you definitely are. What’s still got you confused?”
“Nothing, I guess. I mean, I don’t know. There were some attractive guys on the app I tried out. Enough to know that I’d consider dating a guy, but nothing seems to jump out at me. Guyorgirl,” I confess. “Like, Iwantto find somebody, I just can’t seem to figure out how to apply that knowledge in real life.”
“You mean like dating?”
