Thankfully, we were able to laugh about it, but James Addario certainly didn’t shy away from the hard questions. Although, unlike in the past, I wasn’t offended or insecure about the concern he showed for Hanlon’s well-being with this union. I was grateful for it.
Hanlon doesn’tneedanyone to protect him anymore, but he’s so fuckinggoodand pure and kind thatwantingto protect him happens naturally to everyone who loves him.
When I asked his mom, she wept in my arms and said she couldn’t imagine that anyone could love her son more than I do.
So, here I am, doing the scariest thing I’ve ever done in my life. Ironically, my insides feel very similar to that time I got swept away by an avalanche, unsure if I’d survive the ordeal.
“What is it?” Hanlon asks, narrowing his eyes. “I’m not sure we need any more butt plugs, cock rings, or lube.”
“You shut your mouth! We always need more lube,” I point out, unable to hide my laughter.
Hanlon looks thoughtful for a second before agreeing. “Yeah, you’re right. So, what is it?”
Pulling the envelope from my pocket, I hand it to him, wondering if he’ll understand the meaning of what’s inside.
“Open it,” I tell him, passing it to him with a trembling hand.
He eyes me curiously as he tears into the envelope. “Rings used to come in nice velvet boxes,” he teases, not knowing how spot-on he is.
He pulls out the embroidered Velcro nameplate that goes on our patrol jackets, and I wait for it to click.
“It saysWinchester,” he says, still working through it.
“It does,” I agree with a smile, kissing his hand because it’s right in front of my mouth.
“Not to be rude, but I already have this nameplate on my jacket.”
“I know you do…but I don’t,” I tell him.
“Of course you don’t. Yours saysAddariobecause that’s your last name.”
“I’m hoping that won’t be the case much longer,” I tell him, waiting patiently for it to sink in.
“What? Why n…ohmygod,” he says as the light bulb comes on. “OhmyGOD!” Hanlon jumps up from my lap. Unsure of what to do with himself, he starts waving his arms around. Unfortunately, he also begins to wheeze as his bronchopulmonary dysplasia makes an appearance because his heart rate is no doubt telling his body that he’s exerting a lot of physical energy right now.
Standing, I grab his shoulders.
“Hey, Skittles, you gotta calm down.” Grabbing his hand, I put it on my chest, forcing him to mimic my breathing pattern. He nods his head, and I place my mouth near his ear. “That’s it, baby. Nice and slow.”
“Not…helping,” he wheezes, although his heart rate is slowing a little.
When he’s finally breathing normally, I slide down his body and drop to a knee in the living room. The logs are on, and the fire is casting shadows that are dancing on the pine walls. The snow is falling outside, and I ensured that neither Hanlon nor I were scheduled to work for the next forty-eight hours.
I pull an actual ring box from under the couch and hold it up.
“Would you look at that?” I tease. “Rings stilldocome in nice velvet boxes,” I say, enjoying making him squirm just a second longer.
“Stoooone,” he whines my name, anda flash of all our memories floods my mind as I open my mouth to speak.
“We started out as strangers who were forced to become brothers, which bred resentment, leading us to becoming strangers once again. And I hated those years apart, Hanlon. I hated the distance, but I didn’t know how to fix it, fixmyself.I never would have guessed that falling in love with the man you’d become without me was the cure I needed, but here we are. I want to share a last name with you, not because we’re brothers, but because you’re my husband. Hanlon Jacob Winchester, will you marry me?”
“Hell yes!” he shouts.
I don’t care that tears are spilling down my face as I place the silver carbide ring on his finger; I make the joke anyway. “Thank God, because it was going to make Christmas dinner with our parents tonight really fucking awkward if you’d said no.”
“Mom and Dad are here? Wait…they know?”
“Know?Skittles, I had to askourfather’s permission to marry you. You really think he was going to let you getmarriedwithout giving the third-fucking-degree to your suitor, even if that suitor was me? Hell, especiallybecauseit’s me?”
