The silence that follows is unbearable.
I wait for her to fight me, but after all these months, resisting her, challenging her, letting myself want her.
I’ve finally broken her.
She chokes on a sob, turns, and runs.
The forest takes her immediately.
Dark swallowing darker, branches closing in as she flees between them. The green of her dress vanishes first, lost to the undergrowth, then the pale flash of her skin, then nothing is left at all.
Even her sobs don’t carry. They sink.
Pulled down into the earth until the night smooths over what’s left.
I don’t call her back. I stand there, staring at the place she disappeared, my hands hanging uselessly at my sides, my chest gaping, like something vital just got ripped out of it and I didn’t even try to stop it.
That’s when I know.
I didn’t just lose her.
I made sure she would never come back.
Chapter forty-two
Predator
Becky
Three steps into the forest, the heel of my shoe catches on a gnarled root and I trip, palms slamming into the dirt, knees scraping against rocks and twigs. The sting of shredded skin hits a second later. I don’t move. I stay there with my head hanging and my hair in my eyes.
I almost give up. Lay down. Let thedark close in.
Let everything end right where it began.
A sob shudders out of me, and I curl my fingers into the ground, clawing until the hard surface gives way and my nails break through. The dirt underneath is cool and damp, yielding as it parts around my fingers.
It soothes me. Grounds me.
How it’s soft enough to give, yet strong enough to stand on.
I stay like that until my breathing calms and my tremors fade. Finally, I push myself up. I stand with my arms out, finding my balance in the uneven shadows. When I look down, I see one heel has snapped clean off. I slip both shoes off and stare at them, soft white leather now ruined by scratches and clumped with dirt.
A few hours ago, I put them on thinking I was stepping into my future. Something better.
Now they’re just proof of how stupid I am.
I have a brief vision of throwing them, smashing them just to hear them break. Instead, I drop them into the underbrush and leave them there, devoured by leaves and shadow.
The anger comes fast after that, burning through my veins like wildfire. I’m so sick of this. Of being hurt. Of ending up alone when everything falls apart.
Fuck that.
I hate them. The Order. Jackson. The lies, the secrets, the selfish way they make their decisions.
Carrson…No.Don’t think about him.
Not now.
